{"id":1298,"date":"2011-01-05T11:29:14","date_gmt":"2011-01-05T16:29:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=1298"},"modified":"2011-01-05T17:24:07","modified_gmt":"2011-01-05T22:24:07","slug":"the-best","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=1298","title":{"rendered":"Simply the Best…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you ever wonder what it is like to be famous?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Last night I took my mom, who is a die hard figure skater fan, to see Elvis Stokjo in his Rock the Ice<\/em> Show, which came to Peterborough. \u00a0My mom was so excited. \u00a0She just kept grinning! \u00a0Cute!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I took my three youngest… um… that was a mistake. \u00a0LOL… they were not that fascinated with the show. \u00a0True hockey players to the core… they found the show a bit silly, I am thinking.<\/p>\n

I wonder at the discipline it takes to put your everything into something like this… whether it be figure skating, gymnastics etc. \u00a0What makes a person have that kind of drive?<\/p>\n

I wish I had a bit of it. \u00a0Can you imagine being the best at something? \u00a0I can’t. \u00a0I wish that I had the stick to it<\/em> thingy that is required to accomplish something something major. \u00a0I keep seeking that with just my health… working out, being fit, \u00a0blah blah blah.<\/p>\n

I used to take pride in being a mom… I was a good little kid mom. \u00a0I really suck at being a teenager mom. \u00a0It is hard work. \u00a0I don’t really like it. \u00a0I wonder if maybe I should have put some of my energy into a career of some kind so maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a failure.<\/p>\n

Being a parent to my teens seems to be an uphill battle. \u00a0I hate climbing hills.<\/p>\n

I hate that my 5 year old is repeating words that sound horrible coming out of his mouth… “I hate you”… hum… and he doesn’t even mean it. \u00a0Oh sure he means it for one minute and then he is back to loving again. \u00a0I wish it was that easy with my teenagers.<\/p>\n

I feel like parenting which I loved and put my whole heart into for years has suddenly turned into a class that I have no silibus for. \u00a0I am failing at it.<\/p>\n

Sigh.<\/p>\n

The problem is the self absorption and selfishness that oozes out. \u00a0I just don’t get it. \u00a0I can’t comprehend being so self-centred. \u00a0Even when it was all about me… (and really that was never the case growing up)… there was always that factor of thinking of others. \u00a0Maybe this was my survival skills. \u00a0I couldn’t just think about me because I had a parent that was always thinking about himself.<\/p>\n

I wonder if it is too late for me to try that method?<\/p>\n

lol<\/p>\n

Probably.<\/p>\n

Don’t get me wrong… I love my boys to death. \u00a0 It’s those losing moments…\u00a0Sometimes when I am fighting with my oldest I feel like I am 5 years old and can’t control myself. \u00a0When he spits out ugliness, I want to spit back. \u00a0Sometimes I can control myself and other times I suck at it.<\/p>\n

Back to being the best at something… I don’t crave fame. \u00a0I can’t imagine living in a world that I didn’t control. \u00a0Yet I do crave success. \u00a0I am not sure what that means to me, yet. \u00a0I suppose this year, I am out to define that for myself.<\/p>\n

What does success like look to me?<\/p>\n

A while ago, it looked like having a husband I loved and that loved me back and a happy family. \u00a0Happy is a relative word, I have learned. \u00a0I wanted a house that was a home. \u00a0I wanted to feel safe and secure.<\/p>\n

I do feel this… and so in this sense, I have succeeded. \u00a0Yet… there is more… I know that now that my children are not needing me the same way they did 5 years ago… now that I have time that is mine a bit in a day… what does that mean?<\/p>\n

What am I looking to fill that space? \u00a0What is God calling me to do? \u00a0What is next in my life… what I will seek to achieve success in?<\/p>\n

This is my quest.<\/p>\n

\n

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Do you ever wonder what it is like to be famous? Last night I took my mom, who is a die hard figure skater fan, to see Elvis Stokjo in his Rock the Ice Show, which came to Peterborough. \u00a0My … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,189,6,1,32,140,15,5,11,55],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1298"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1298"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1298\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1307,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1298\/revisions\/1307"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}