{"id":338,"date":"2008-10-16T20:25:00","date_gmt":"2008-10-17T00:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=338"},"modified":"2008-10-16T20:25:00","modified_gmt":"2008-10-17T00:25:00","slug":"homework","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=338","title":{"rendered":"Homework!"},"content":{"rendered":"

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My coaching session was about dealing with a old haunt. Having lunch with a friend today made me realize that I trust God with some things. My children… a huge one. I can’t do anything more than I do to keep them safe physically, emotionally, spiritually…so I have to leave it all to Him<\/p>\n

But other things… the haunts… the things that occupy unpleasant space in my head… that cause discombobulation in my inner space… these are things that I have not full trusted God to resolve. <\/p>\n

I never realized that I was so pathetic. I want to trust Him. But that means letting go 100%. I am a bit of a control freak maybe. Or maybe I don’t like how I <\/span>think God will deal with it. Maybe I want blood… or want them to hurt or pay a price. I have so much anger. But really who cares?<\/p>\n

Nobody even really knows except my inner being. SO what is the point? I am seeking peace. I am searching out and targeting the things in my life that are robbing me of peace. (Cluster flies don’t count)!<\/p>\n

So my homework this week was “What does my soul want?” At lunch today I was given the answer. REST<\/span>! My soul wants rest.<\/p>\n

That sounds so good, doesn’t it? I have been making huge progress in the past bit. The peace I feel in regards to my father is huge and still there. Maybe I don’t believe it is for real. But I am at rest with the fact that he is broken. Only God can fix him. Until then I have to take what I get from him… with no expectations.<\/p>\n

So how do I get to the point where my soul is at rest? One of the things is relinquishing total control. Maybe I am not sure how to REALLY do that? I can say…”God, I give it all to You.” I want to mean it… but how to I really do it?<\/p>\n

Forgiveness… that is another step that I need to fully tackle. Real forgiveness for the ones I trusted most who betrayed that trust. I have a hard time with this… because I am not sure I like God’s way of punishment. They really hurt me… I want to see them pay somehow… yet …. AW <\/p>\n

This is why I am in coaching. I need a tutor to help me figure out the hard stuff. I pray before each session that God will use my coach … and talk to me thru her.<\/p>\n

What does my soul want? I hated homework assignments!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My coaching session was about dealing with a old haunt. Having lunch with a friend today made me realize that I trust God with some things. My children… a huge one. I can’t do anything more than I do to … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=338"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}