{"id":4160,"date":"2016-05-06T14:51:28","date_gmt":"2016-05-06T18:51:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=4160"},"modified":"2016-05-06T15:01:28","modified_gmt":"2016-05-06T19:01:28","slug":"the-black-dot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=4160","title":{"rendered":"The Black Dot…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last night Sanj and I were watching a show, I’d never seen before, I think it’s called The Catch.\u00a0 In it, the story line talked about when a woman has a black dot on her palm.\u00a0 Are you familiar with it?\u00a0 I love how today there is an awareness for abuse in all forms. I know this picture says it has helped 6 women already but this is dated from 2015.\u00a0 I really hope that women who find the courage to seek help are given that.\u00a0 I am curious if professionals are aware of this campaign and what they would do to be helpful?<\/p>\n

It’s no secret that we came from an abusive home.\u00a0 My mom sought help once, in 1970s\u00a0 and was shut down.\u00a0 Given it was a family member and not a professional but that shut down was all it took for us to live with craziness the next few decades.<\/p>\n

Any woman (or man, as I realize abuse isn’t always gender specific) that is brave enough to put a black dot\u00a0on their palm is a hero.\u00a0 The reality is abuse is still prevalent.\u00a0 It isn’t prejudice of economic status, race or gender.\u00a0 It is still happening today.\u00a0 I know that it takes such courage to seek help.\u00a0 It takes courage to stop protecting\u00a0the abuser\u00a0 and making excuses for them.\u00a0 It is crazy\u00a0 that it is still happening and yet I suppose as long as there is sin, there will be abuse in various forms.<\/p>\n

I feel so strongly about this.\u00a0 Over the years, I have heard from my own friends and family that they have been living through abuse (emotional or physical or both) and are finally standing up… I feel such pride for these women.\u00a0 They may feel shame for “allowing” it to happen and yet\u00a0 they are my heroes.\u00a0 No one allows it to happen.\u00a0 If this is your reality, it sucks but there is help and hope.\u00a0 Reach out to someone you trust.\u00a0 Don’t stop till you find help.\u00a0 It is out there.<\/p>\n

I can’t believe I am writing this but obviously God has been healing me, healing my heart.\u00a0 I feel sadness for the abuser.\u00a0 Crazy isn’t it?\u00a0\u00a0Yet I do.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Jesus loves them.\u00a0 So much.\u00a0 I believe\u00a0that usually someone who is abusing is\u00a0suffering themselves.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I mean how do you hurt someone you love?\u00a0\u00a0 How do you hurt someone you promised to love?\u00a0 How do you hurt your own flesh and blood?<\/p>\n

I kinda feel a shiver as I wrote that.\u00a0 I think that the illness that made my dad hit us is likely in me.\u00a0 I remember feeling such anger and frustrations and fear that I was unable to control this rage in me.\u00a0 Now, this was likely or partly post partum … and yet the reality was I think I could have hit and hurt any one of those being that I adore … that are my life … that I promised to love.\u00a0 Ugh.\u00a0 I am grateful that I have a support system that wasn’t and still isn’t afraid to call me out.\u00a0 I was feeling so ugly and desperate inside and yet had no clue where it was coming from or how to rid myself of this horrid feeling.<\/p>\n

I am a seeker of happiness.\u00a0 It is a constant prayer in my heart.\u00a0 I want to be a happy person.\u00a0 I want us to be a\u00a0 happy family ( not perfect ).\u00a0 I want joy to be part of my life.\u00a0 God has helped me seek this on a daily basis.\u00a0 And with that comes the reality that I need help.\u00a0 Insert a prescription for my crazy\/happy pill.\u00a0 You know, a day or two ago, I ran out, and\u00a0 as I have often mentioned, I usually feel great.\u00a0 I think, maybe I’m ok and don’t need my pill.\u00a0 Sanj called me out last night.\u00a0 He said, “Reema, you know you need it. Just go get it.”\u00a0 <\/em>Grrr.\u00a0 I hate having to take a pill be feel and be ok.\u00a0 And yet, I will swallow my pride and my @$?!@#$%$## pill.\u00a0 I hope one day my kids know and forgive me for all the times I have lost it and know that I take this pill, as I love them so much.<\/p>\n

Sigh.\u00a0 So I can empathize with the abuser and those that are abused because I’ve seen and felt both ends.\u00a0 I am here writing this to be an encourager to both.\u00a0 If you are an abuser (and you know in your heart, if you are) there is help for you.\u00a0 It’s not a black dot on your palm but rather it’s that nudging you feel or that frustration \u00a0you feel after losing it.\u00a0 It’s that promise that you make to her and yourself that NEXT TIME it will be different.\u00a0 There is help.\u00a0 Seek it. Please?\u00a0 Before it’s too late and you lose what is dearest to you.<\/p>\n

To the abused… you are so brave.\u00a0 Braver than you think.\u00a0 Whether you use a black dot on your palm, or confide in someone or access one of the many organizations, you are strong enough to do.\u00a0 I promise you are! And I am proud of you for even considering it… that is the first step.<\/p>\n

\"the-black-dot-campaign\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I think for those that have not suffered abuse, the one thing you can do is be non-judgemental.\u00a0 It’s easy to say, “Why did you stay?” Or “How could you?” And yet, unless we have walked in that person’s shoes, what do we really know?\u00a0 I challenge you to be the kind of person Jesus asks us to be.\u00a0 It’s so scary for some to seek help.\u00a0 If they come to you, turn to you, it’s really an honor and privilege.\u00a0 Don’t let them down.\u00a0 Just love them. Listen.\u00a0 You’ll know what they need if you listen to your heart.<\/p>\n

xoxo<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last night Sanj and I were watching a show, I’d never seen before, I think it’s called The Catch.\u00a0 In it, the story line talked about when a woman has a black dot on her palm.\u00a0 Are you familiar with … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[189,259,28,6,10,32,13,140,11,55],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4160"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4160"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4160\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4165,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4160\/revisions\/4165"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4160"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4160"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4160"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}