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<\/a>I have had a couple of crazy moments in the last couple of weeks where God has been showing me His presence. \u00a0The truth be told, sometimes I think He’s been waving me down to grab my attention. \u00a0I had to go to the hospital to do an errand. \u00a0Our hospital in town, I never really will understand the design of it. \u00a0It is a crazy maze that requires a map to find your way around. \u00a0The main floor, for example, is the 4th. \u00a0Why? The 2nd floor is the basement. \u00a0(Well, at least I think it is, I don’t think there is a 1st floor). \u00a0This is irrelevant but the point is that I had to make my way to a department on the 2nd floor. \u00a0This floor is not very populated and I actually always find it kind of creepy being there never knowing who is going to come around the corner or how I will find my way as I am usually lost looking for the elevator that takes me to the 4th floor.<\/p>\nThis really all too say that the basement creeps me out. \u00a0I suppose I feel very vulnerable when I am alone. \u00a0I went and completed my errand. \u00a0I went to find the elevators that would take me back to the main floor. \u00a0I stood at the elevator only to see that one was out of service. \u00a0The other one was being entered by a cop, who was pushing a wheelchair with a man that was handcuffed. \u00a0The elevator was kind of full and since I was not sure if this was the right spot, I hesitated long enough that the door shut. \u00a0I turned around and there stood a man that looked like his face had been shot. \u00a0I suppose this was my irrational fear that took over my mind. \u00a0 I figured \u00a0that the guy the police had handcuffed and this man with his face missing had an altercation. \u00a0That was my initial thought. \u00a0I only looked at this man for half a second and was so shaken that I headed in another direction that I thought had another set of elevators. \u00a0I was shaking and freaked out that I was alone in this hall with this man. \u00a0(if you have followed my blog, you likely know that I suffer from PTSD and this is a trigger). \u00a0I tried calling Sanj so that he would “be with me” but of course he chose that moment to be unavailable and be with a patient. \u00a0I was all alone. \u00a0Of course I was praying that God would keep me safe from anything bad.<\/p>\n
I found myself back to the same spot, alone. \u00a0I entered the elevator and felt so relieved that I had escaped the bad guys. \u00a0I saw my man with the face that looked like he had been shot outside.<\/p>\n
My heart felt something. \u00a0I will admit there was some fear and yet I felt such sadness for this man. \u00a0I named him Bob. \u00a0He is a patient. \u00a0Friends who have someone in palliative care said my “Bob” is there too. \u00a0He likely has face cancer. \u00a0He’s dying. \u00a0He had no mouth or nose from what I could see in my 2 second glance. \u00a0The space where the cancer, I’m assuming, has eaten away is a huge crater that is sadly hideous, it is something no one should have to live with.<\/p>\n
My heart just ached and actually continues to ache for “Bob.” I found myself praying for him since I saw him. \u00a0I found myself wishing so BADLY I had said hi to him or that I could have smiled at him. \u00a0I hated that I assumed the worst and thought of him as a bad guy. \u00a0I cannot stop thinking of him. \u00a0I keep praying for him. \u00a0As I googled face cancer, if that is what is killing him, I did not see one case that was as horrible as his. \u00a0I wondered when someone had hugged him last or smiled at him? \u00a0Did he think a smile was someone mocking him?<\/p>\n
I watched my mom die, grateful that she died knowing she was loved. \u00a0I watched a stranger die (my next post…) grateful to found out he was adored. \u00a0 I find death so ugly a thing and yet as I think of my Bob, who’s likely to pass soon, I wonder if he was loved. \u00a0When was he hugged last? I really hope that my Bob dies feeling God’s love surrounding him.<\/p>\n
\u00a0I learned a valuable lesson. \u00a0We never know someone’s story. \u00a0We can never know the pain or hurt that one has lived through. \u00a0We can only know that God loves each of us. (I won’t remind you that I am His Favourite). \u00a0\ud83d\ude42 \u00a0I hope I never judge a book by its cover again. \u00a0And… could you please say a prayer for my Bob,” that he feels peace and love surround him?<\/p>\n
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I have had a couple of crazy moments in the last couple of weeks where God has been showing me His presence. \u00a0The truth be told, sometimes I think He’s been waving me down to grab my attention. \u00a0I had … Continue reading