{"id":2309,"date":"2011-09-21T12:18:01","date_gmt":"2011-09-21T16:18:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=2309"},"modified":"2011-09-21T12:18:01","modified_gmt":"2011-09-21T16:18:01","slug":"constipated","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=2309","title":{"rendered":"Constipated…"},"content":{"rendered":"

My words have been stuck… my thoughts seemed to be constipated.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I even thought of ending my blog.\u00a0 I mean, what is the point of it really?\u00a0 Me, rambling about this and that… nothing life changing.\u00a0 My thoughts, as I write them, seem dumb, then I delete the post.\u00a0 Then I feel frustrated.<\/p>\n

It’s been a few weeks since school started.\u00a0 The boys are all doing great…\u00a0and I am enjoying my new found freedom.\u00a0 Except, I seem busier then before.\u00a0 Last week, I had at least 7 appointments booked for the boys… through the week.\u00a0 It was very frustrating.\u00a0 I felt busier than ever.\u00a0 At least on my days home with Josh, last year, I had down days where we hang out.<\/p>\n

I am sure it will change.\u00a0 This week, seems to be flying by.\u00a0 It’s Tuesday already.\u00a0 Friday is my birthday!\u00a0 I love my birthday.\u00a0 I enjoy all the little reasons to stop and have a party.\u00a0 Sanj is planning a patio party.\u00a0 I just hope that we have good weather.<\/p>\n

I was looking for something in my boxes of keepsakes and found my old journals.\u00a0 Life is so funny.\u00a0 The ups and downs seem to be constant.\u00a0 What I was whining about 15 years ago are things that still make me blue.\u00a0 I find it so funny that as much as I have changed, grown… there is so much of me that is still the same.<\/p>\n

I realize that if you have a emptiness in your heart… it is only you that can fill it.\u00a0 No man can do that.\u00a0 I think as women, we think that when Prince Charming comes along, life will be a bowl of cherries.\u00a0 Cherries still have pits.<\/p>\n

As I listen to so many of my friends, women, we have needs men can not fulfill.\u00a0 We are so different.\u00a0 They, men, for the most part, need some physically loving, and they are set.\u00a0 That is a universal love language for most men.\u00a0 When their physical needs are satified… they feel loved.\u00a0 They are pretty simple.<\/p>\n

We, as women are so much more complicated.\u00a0 I am not even sure why God made us SO different.\u00a0 We, as women, have such complex needs and desires.\u00a0 When I try to think like a man ( and Lord knows I try a bit too often),\u00a0 I get their frustraton with us, the fairer sex.\u00a0 We want the romance, the actions that show love rather than that being demonstrated physically and thinking that is enough.\u00a0 We need the time spent with each other, the chatter, the help with the housework, the showers of love in all sorts of ways… and not just on anniversaries and birthday.\u00a0 We are so complicated.<\/p>\n

I guess if we don’t know what we need or want, how is the man in our life suppose to?<\/p>\n

How often do I hear,\u00a0 “If I never have sex again, I’d be fine with it?”<\/em>\u00a0 I doubt that would really be true but women have an emotional level that is so complicated that I don’t think we even understand it.<\/p>\n

How often do I find myself feel so lonely?\u00a0 I was reading that in my journal… from long ago and realized that so much of that unrest is still true.\u00a0 I have a loving husband who trys.\u00a0 Yet as I thought about this today, I realized that when I feel so alone, even in a marriage that is happy, it is something that is so deep down that perhaps Sanj just can’t fill that.<\/p>\n

When I spend time with my true friends, real time, sharing, crying and laughing, it is so rejuenating.\u00a0 Maybe God needed to make men a tad more emotional, a tad softer, a tad more e-feminitate. lol<\/p>\n

Ah… Maybe the unrest that fills my souls is just part of being human.\u00a0 Maybe it is human to just need to cry to sleep sometimes.\u00a0 Maybe reading and watching romantic books and movies sets us up for a unrealistic dream.<\/p>\n

I have just heard so much saddness or despear this month.\u00a0 I see women that have chosen to leave their spouse in wanting to be true to their inner self… and yet are they really happier alone?<\/p>\n

I was thinking of how males seem to have life wrapped up in a nice neat package… a good woman loving them physcially, a hobby or two (sports or otherwise), a good job, a nice car… and they seem to have it made.\u00a0 (Not to take away that they don’t have stress… but who doesn’t).<\/p>\n

Women… first we have to deal with the seemingly never-ending PMS.\u00a0 Just that alone, once a month, sucks.\u00a0 Then we have wants and needs that men don’t get.\u00a0 So, who fills that?<\/p>\n

I guess this is why women seek, crave a bestie.\u00a0 If a bestie is actively in a women’s life… I think there\u00a0 is much more contentment.<\/p>\n

As I read my journals, and was surprised at the same things that seem to be missing in my life… I realize that one can’t expect a male to fill a female’s role.\u00a0 Over the\u00a0 years, I have missed having\u00a0a significant “her” \u00a0in my everyday life.<\/p>\n

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My words have been stuck… my thoughts seemed to be constipated. I even thought of ending my blog.\u00a0 I mean, what is the point of it really?\u00a0 Me, rambling about this and that… nothing life changing.\u00a0 My thoughts, as I … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[189,1,32,13,140,11,55],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2309"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2309"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2309\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2316,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2309\/revisions\/2316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2309"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2309"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2309"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}