{"id":661,"date":"2009-08-19T16:34:00","date_gmt":"2009-08-19T20:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=661"},"modified":"2009-08-19T16:34:00","modified_gmt":"2009-08-19T20:34:00","slug":"beaten","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/?p=661","title":{"rendered":"Beaten"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have made a huge attempt to move from the past and live in today and the future. Yet I can’t help but bring up the past as it is so much of who I am. I am this person today, made from all the good and bad moments of yesteryear.<\/p>\n

So I go back for a bit in this blog… I have to. I have to write and release and yet really hope if one person reads it and it makes a difference, it is to that person I write.<\/p>\n

I went to see my aunt and uncle yesterday. Theirs is a relationship of abuse. Physical and emotional.
My uncle was very hard on my cousins, they got butt-whopping too. Not that this makes a difference but I do believe their were beat when misbehaving… though the beats they received were hardly appropriate punishments. My uncle was a very hard man. He grew up this way and I suppose that this is the only way he knew. He has a fierce temper.<\/p>\n

Their marriage was one of craziness. While I don’t know all the sordid details, I believe at some point, both had affairs. My uncle had a girl… a young girl … that was the “love of his life.” This lady was the third person in the marriage, to this day.<\/p>\n

While I don’t know all the detail, while visiting them a few years ago, my aunt came into my room, crying. She just kept saying “please pray for us.” Then she started sharing things I didn’t want to know.<\/p>\n

When with them, I still feel like I am 12 years old. They always treated my well and I loved them.<\/p>\n

My mom made the offer for my aunt to leave all the “stuff” and come live with her.<\/p>\n

My aunt will never leave. There is money and that keeps her as well as the grandsons that live in a sad cycle too.<\/p>\n

My uncle is mean to her. She is beaten, emotionally. She responds to him with fear and no willpower.
He makes derogatory comments and she just tightens her mouth.<\/p>\n

I felt so sad and helpless.<\/p>\n

It made me feel the helplessness I felt as a child.<\/p>\n

So here is the thing. There really is NO good reason (that I can think of ) that anyone should stay in an abusive relationship.
If you are being beat… that is AGAINST THE LAW. If you think staying for your children is a good enough reason… IT ISN’T.
If you are being beaten EMOTIONALLY… there is freedom just a phone call away.<\/p>\n

Is it going to be easy? NO! It will be the hardest thing you did. Yet you are strong enough… how do I know? Because ANYONE who has lived with what you are… can only be strong to have survived.<\/p>\n

Do I wish my mom left my dad years ago? YES!!! You have no idea how strong a YES that is. Yet I am proud that she left him when she did. She was the only one to really benefit by this point, yet she still lives with people casting judgement on her.
People do not understand the life threatening reality that it is.<\/p>\n

It is so ignorant of people to judge when they have not walked in those shoes. My aunt often tells my mom how lucky she is.
It is amazing that situation you will allow yourself to live in because of fear.<\/p>\n

As a child of abuse, living it and watching it… It is a part of my everyday. I am not in danger nor do I live with abuse of any kind (accept laundry)… yet there isn’t a day that goes by that it is not a part of my day. NOT ONE DAY!<\/p>\n

I will write of this on an upcoming blog called … Fear Factor<\/b>.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/i><\/div>\n
I love reading books of women who live in countries where women are oppressed that rise and defy the unfairness and stand up and say “I am worth living just as men do.”<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
OK… I know it is fear that keep most women in their situation. You can rise above your fear.<\/div>\n
YOU CAN! I believe in you. I love stories where women conquer their fear and live their own Happily Ever After!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
My hairdresser is from Poland. Her husband is an abuser. For years, I gently encouraged her to seek her happily ever after. I shared my mom’s story. I shared my own thoughts as a child who lived through it. Her own children hated their father.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
One day, finally she left him. She left the money and house. She left her security. She just had her job and her kids. It took a while. She went back to him a couple of times. But at some point she realized that she was O.K. without him. She could make it. Her children were O.K.<\/div>\n
She had to give up some things but the trade off was incredible.<\/div>\n
She is a lady in her 50s living her Happily Ever After.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So awesome. And what an example to her children. Nobody has the right to hurt you. NOBODY. Nothing is worth that… no amount of money or whatever you may be selling your soul for.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
OK… that this is me venting. I know that my aunt will die never knowing her Happily Ever After. It really makes me sad. God gave us so much… He gave some of us more, knowing what we would have to live with.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
If… there is someone reading this that needs help… and doesn’t know who to call…. my email is sukreema@hotmail.com<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I also know some of you have lived it. You are my hero!<\/div>\n

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<\/i><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have made a huge attempt to move from the past and live in today and the future. Yet I can’t help but bring up the past as it is so much of who I am. I am this person … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/661"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=661"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/661\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livinglovingbreathingboys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}