Sorry! I’m Really Sorry!

Oh, What a Night!  This particular expression usually leads to a story of what a night in a good way… right?  Wrong.  So, last night, the 3 middle boys had hockey camp in the evening, during this time, Sanj and I went to have dinner with friends and Sammy was dropped off for his work party.

Ground rules were laid.  Sammy was suppose to meet us at 9 p.m. after we picked up the boys from their camp.  Not surprisingly, he was no there.  Being the social child that he is… he was not paying attention to the time and was surprised by us annoyed at his lack of being a no show.

I drove the rest of the family home… dropped off the babysitter and headed back to town.  My son texts me saying, “Mommy, I went in to grab a bit and the limo was gone.”  (The restaurant had limos going back and forth all evening and the party was in another town that I was not familiar with).  I am annoyed with him, angry, even.  In my head I am yelling at him, his immaturity, his thoughtlessness, thinking of all the possible grounding…  I sit there and read my book… which added to me annoyance since it wasn’t really too interesting.

11 o’ clock… 12 o’clock… “Mommy, I’m REALLLY SORRRRRRRRY.”
I get even more annoyed… wander off to McD’s and fill my belly with disgusting, weight gaining carbs and not because I am hungry!

“Mommy, the limo is here… I’m on my way.  I am so sorry, Mommy!”

I am feeling brain dead.  I am exhausted for various reasons… but ultimately, it is past my bedtime.
1:15 am the limo arrives… “Mommy, I am here.”

I am past the point of furious.  I am past the point of all the screaming that was needing releasing in my head.  I am past the point of even talking.

You ever do something really dumb?  You ever have to think for the last 2 hours or so of the consequence of that dumb action?  

Sammy gets in the cars.  Apologies are oozing out of his mouth and heart.  His face is tormented.  “Mommy, you can take my phone.” Me:  “I don’t want your phone.”  “Mommy, you can ground me from seeing my friends.”
I realize that this child is really trying as those are the two worst things that can happen to him.  His friends are his life and his phone, his lifeline.

I am beyond tired.  I am beyond parenting at this point.  I look at my son… “Do you realize that I sat there from 9:30-1:15 am?  Do you realized how tired I am or that I had things I wanted to do?  Or that I felt unsafe sitting there alone?”

“I am really sorry, Mommy.”

I said, “I am not going to punish you, because this is about you learning to be responsible.   This is on you.  You need to think of how to fix this.  What can you do to make this right?  (He is looking at me clueless…)  Exactly, you need to figure this one out.”

We are on the highway.  I can almost feel my pillow.  Then, 1 km from my exit, I see red lights.  Brake lights, traffic is stopped.  I see a police car and the flashing lights.  SERIOUSLY???  It is 1:40 a.m.

We sit there, we get out… no one knows what is happening.  Ever feel like you are going to lose your mind?  I almost pull to the side and walk home.  ( I am scared of the dark, though).  FINALLY the cop comes over… it is a Rhema mom that is the cop.  I smile.  “I just wanna go home,” I tell her.

There is a truck that lost control and if off in a ditch or something.  They are trying to figure this out…. we are allowed to go slowly… I am able to get to my exit.  

2 a.m. I pull in to my driveway.  Pooped.

Sammy is again apologetic.  “Thank you, Mommy.  Goodnight.”  Ummm…. it’s actually Good Morning!

I get into bed.  I can’t help but wonder if I was a bit earlier if I would have been in that truck’s path.  Random thought.  I say a prayer of thankfulness all around.  I feel the weight of parenting teens.  I feel breathless thinking that we are just at the beginning of this journey.

My head hit the pillow.  It is the best feeling ever.

Parenting… not for the weak at heart or for those that need sleep!

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One Response to Sorry! I’m Really Sorry!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Amen! I hear you Reema and I'm not looking forward to the teen days either!!!