Living Loving Breathing Boys

Today Sanj leaves for a conference in Toronto till Sunday. I am joining him tomorrow. While he is in classes, I plan on shopping, sleeping and spa- ing. They have golf and an afternoon at the spa. This is what I see retirement like! 😛

My kids are excited to being going to sleep overs and everyone is happy. My mom is here for Josh and will hold the fort down.

I haven’t really had a chance to explore Toronto as an adult so I am looking forward to it.

Today … I just have to finish 101 things today. I have been good at saying no… but need to practice it a bit more. Thankfully there is only 24 hours in a day.

Thank you to all our friends that made this weekend possible.

I have given myself till the end of the weekend to blog this. Someone said that once it is out there, it is freeing. i realize it is not a big deal compared to the many things others are going through but I am still a bit saddened by this.

I am a diabetic. Apparently I was doomed … due to family history. I wouldn’t care as much except that 1) I HATE NEEDLES… I know it is a pin prick… but the anticipation of it totally freaks me out. I am not sure how I will learn to just prick my finger.

Then my mom is here… and since the kids know, she knows. She keeps saying …” Shall we see what your blood sugar is at?” Why doesn’t she just say… “Here. Let me stab your finger?”

2) As my friend said, sugar is my drug of choice. It is how I comfort myself. I love pieces of Wonder bread with butter lathered on it and then sprinkle a generous toss of sugar. It is even better warmed up so the butter melts just a bit. We grew up eating this as a treat! Hum… (OK I did not eat very often)!

Just give me something sweet. I love a spoonful of condensed milk… just out of the can. YUM! OK you can see why I have this disease. How come I can’t be addicted to carrots and celery? Or to the gym?

All right, enough of the whining. My doctor knows that I hate needles so has just told me “NO SUGAR” and follow the food guide more carefully and fit in some exercise. And then we will see where we are in three months. How easy is that?

So first of all, I have just made a couple of goals for myself. No sugar… and taking that one day at a time… and celebrating each day’s success. Second, making this a family lifestyle change… we eat decent but could definitely add some more healthy habits.

Well first of all, I have been off sugar for 10 days. I am so proud of myself. Especially because both weekends involved being out and around of goodies.

I am not a big bread or sandwich person. And I really dislike brown… whole wheat sticks to your ribs… bread. I ate it by choice today, twice. Can’t say I like it but I am hoping to change my thoughts towards food. Hopefully I will learn to eat simply to fuel my body rather than comfort myself.

OK the blessing in all this is perhaps I will reach a very important goal by my fortieth b-day… which is losing a certain amount of weight. I have been doing pretty good but perhaps this will give me the kick in the pants I need.

I was very sad. But part of that was just hating the fact that sucky family history gives you no choice. I hate that fact that this is another bad thing I am going to pass on. But at the end of the day… I am OK. I will learn to live with it in a healthy, the best I can way.

I remember being in 6 or 7th grade, at church, where we were talking about heaven and how great it would be to go there. I also remember thinking I really hope that Jesus does not come yet. I wanted to get married and have children before I went to heaven.

All grown up (well, I realize that is debatable) I am ready. Heaven… although many times the idea of heaven and living forever can overwhelm me, I am ready for that peace that is promised. I am ready for the promise of healthiness, happiness and hope.
As I begin to age in ways I have no control, as I watch people I love struggle with sickness and suffering, I begin to really yearn for heaven.

As I watch my kids slowing leaving innocence and childhood behind and feeling helpless to keep them from the hurts that are going to come their way, I am ready for heaven. I know that it is what strengthens them and makes them grow but I would rather skip all that. I wish that I could shelter them from a broken heart. That is a pain you just don’t forget.

I would like to keep that disappoint of not fulfilling a dream. I would just loved the passion in which Tyler loved hockey. He really believed that he would play in the NHL. I watched as reality slowly hit. It was kind of sad. Dream big but be ready for reality.

So as I think of all this I really just want heaven. I want to meet God, ask Him the 100,000,000 questions and know that it was all in His plan. No more doubt, just peace that passes all understanding. I can’t wait.

And God, for all those kids now that are wanting you to wait till they get married… Please don’t listen to them! Thanks!

I love rainy days especially when I can stay home. It is a great day to do laundry and not sink into depression. I love storms. I wish they would last longer. I especially love a great thunder storm. It is the best way to wake up. Or sleep in. It stays dark and I love to just pull up my blankets and lay there. I wish could sleep but since kids, my body refuses to acknowledge the concept of sleeping in after 7:30 a.m.

So this is the sounds I wake up to this morning. It was great. I wish the thunder and lightening would last for hours. It doesn’t. Then I hear thunder again. Oh wait… it’s my kids fighting or something. Really is that necessary?

Another favorite sound of mine is my children asleep. I am sure I have blogged that already. But it is a favorite so I figured it bares repeating. Sounds… funny how some are so soothing and others have the effect of nails on a chalkboard.

Remember asking your parents… “Who do you love more?” and the reply was always along the lines of’ “I love you all equally.”
OK that is a load of doodoo. I don’t think that is the honest answer. Or maybe I am just different (which of course is not a secret)! I have thought of that question and the real answer.

With 6 children, each so different, I have to try really hard to make sure to “love them” conscientiously. What I mean by that is, take Max, for example, he is a quiet child, soften spoken and kind of a loner. He likes a quiet space and playing with his toys.
I have to stop and think, did I physically hug him, tickle him or tease him? This is his love language.

Then there is Sammy, who is very huggy and verbal child. He will still come and sit on our laps and snuggle, say I love you and it is a impulse to simply love him back. He is never short of love. But he needs to be reassured after he has done something impulsive and driven us crazy.

So I am always checking myself. Did I love all my children enough today? I know that they are the best thing that has happened to me but there are many times they drive me bonkers and I don’t hesitate to let them know.

But do I love them equally? I would have to say that isn’t really even a fair question. No I don’t. I can’t. They are too different to love equally. It is not even a realisitic question. But I love each of them differently with all my heart. I am sure if there was a scale to measure the love for each of them in their different ways, it would be equal. But I am not sure.

I know I don’t like them all equally. Some of them I just don’t get. Then others are so me that I don’t like that either.
I think it is ok to not like your children 100% of the time. But to accept them as they are is my lifelong goal. They are not me and will not have my experiences to shape them. They will have their own and I have to realize and accept that I will not understand or know of all of them. That is a hard one.

Yes, I do have favorites, but that changes daily, sometimes hourly.

Phew, that is stressing me out. I can’t imagine each of them having pains and hurts that I can’t kiss or put a bandaid on. But I know that I need to make sure they know that I will love them even if I don’t like them at that moment.

It is a balancing act. It is one I hope I am not messing up. I love them so much. I love them each 100% yet very differently.

I have had a day full of emotions that have been up and down. I am exhausted, emotionally. Sanj was playing me some songs that he redid from his 25th alumni reunion, Eternal Praise. As I listened, a song that really moved me was “In His Time.” It was one that I clung to going through some rough times in my 20s. My faith was so SIMPLE. I miss that. I hate the constant doubt of “Are You There, God, It’s Me, Reema…”

I am going to try and put the music on here… but here are the words:

In His time, in His time
He makes all things beautiful in His time
Lord, please show me every day as You’re teaching me Your way
that You do just what You say in Your time

In Your time, in Your time
You make all things beautiful in Your time
Lord, my life to You I bring may each song I have to sing
be to You a lovely thing in Your time

As I was talking to Sanj, he said… it’s an easier thing to sing than live. Now almost 40, I want that again.
Faith. I want to be a woman of faith. Lord, Help me Believe again and KNOW in my core that You are IN COMPLETE control.
I know I just need that mustard seed. You will make it grow. If I look back, I see all the things You DID make beautiful and it was in YOUR time.

I want that Peace that passeth all understanding. I need it. I didn’t understand those words as a kid… now I sing that song craving that peace beyond all understanding. All my friends out there, I pray this for you tonight too.

I am sick of making lunches.
I am sick of having to repeat (loudly) “GO TO BED!” Especially when it is still not dark!
i am sick of lunches not being eaten fully.
I am sick of 7 o’clock wake ups.
OK really 7:30 am wake ups… and then scrambling.
I am sick of “I have no clean pants.” What is wrong with the dirty ones from yesterday?
I am sick of “LET’S GO… We’re LATE!”
I am sick of HOMEWORK.
I am sick of “I need this much $ for this field trip.” Are you going to come on the trip?

I am ready for SLEEPING IN!
I am ready for “Oh it’s 1 pm we should eat lunch, eh?”
I am ready for “Want to go to the beach?”
I am ready for shorts full time. (tonight there is suppose to be frost… how crazy is that)?
I am ready for a tan! haha

23 more sleeps till Summer Break begins. I know the first 2 weeks are hard … to get adjusted to slowing down… and then it is good. Till I hear…. ” I am bored.” “There is nothing to do.”

Can’ t wait!

My brother, Kumar and his wife, Reg welcomed their 3rd child… Wilomina Grace Dixit was born this morning at 9:19am. She was 6.05 lbs and 19 3/4 inches.

Proud sister, Jaelin and Brother Eli were excited to be informed they get to boss her around!

Congratulations on having your hands full!

I am lazy. I hate all the guilt about our earth fading into nothing for our children. I hate the guilt of composting, recycling, reusing. I hate feeling guilty over using paper plates when I am too lazy or tired to do dishes. I really dislike the “green people” that make it look so easy.

But the guilt has finally got to me. How can I now take care of this place? So I am taking baby steps to becoming the environment’s friend. I am sure most of you know this stuff…especially if you watch Oprah. So here are the baby steps…and some information on why I have chosen these little steps. Maybe you may choose to GO GREEN too!

Grocery Bags… Do you know how much groceries we buy? OK even just for half the week? LOTS! I have decided that I am going to buy the REUSABLE BAGS…. even though I will have to buy 20. At least I know they are not going to tear on me… A BIG PET PEEVE!

Did you know:
It’s a question you’re asked all the time, “Paper or plastic?” What’s the environmentally correct answer? Simran says it’s really, “Neither.” More than 380 million plastic bags are thrown away in the United States every year, and those plastic bags can take up to 1,000 years to biodegrade in landfills. And while paper bags do eventually biodegrade, an estimated 14 million trees a year have to be cut down to make 10 billion paper bags.

I am going to stop buying the convenient water bottles and get my lazy butt up to fill our water non-plastic water bottles.
My kids never remember to bring their bottles home, though, so it is a little annoying.

Did you know:
When you buy one liter of water at the store, you’re actually consuming about six liters of water. That’s because when manufacturers make plastic bottles, it takes five liters of water to cool the plastic. To save the resources used in creating all those bottles, it is suggested to get a water filter and a reusable aluminum or plastic bottle from a company like Sigg, Nalgene or New Wave Enviro.

One thing to consider if you buy a plastic bottle is its grade. Look on the bottom of the bottle for a small plastic triangle with a number in the middle. If you see a number 2, 4 or 5, the bottle is safe. If it has some other number, don’t use it as a water bottle. Those other plastics can make your water taste like plastic and leach harmful chemicals into your body. You don’t want your water tasting like plastic. If you’re tasting plastic, you’re ingesting plastic.

OK and I am going to make a better effort to recycle faithfully. We do this the best out of all the green stuff.

This one I have already done for most of our bulbs.
Did you know:

Replacing regular, inefficient lightbulbs with compact florescent lighbulbs (CFLs) can make a big difference.
A CFL is 70 to 75 percent more efficient than other bulbs. Florescent bulbs will cost a little more up front, you should save money on your electricity bill over time. Plus, these bulbs can last 8 to 10 years!If every family replaced one bulb with a CFL, it would be like reducing carbon emissions from 800,000 cars. Have a lightbulb moment and change out one lightbulb!”

Go green with me.

I am surround by family who are all expecting babies. Most are on # 3, that was just half way for me. I would get major baby pangs just being around newborns. I loved being pregnant. I loved all the movement and rolling in my belly. I loved the anticipation of what this little being would be like. I was always lucky Sanj and I were on the same page.

Now I am actually allergic to newborns. They make me fell like I am going to get a rash. I feel like I can’t breathe. When I hold one… my arms feel weak. And then there is the cry…. when I hear the cry I just want to go and hug the mom.

Guess I am done. Now the fear of a oops is so not funny. People love telling me stories along the lines of …”I have a friend who had 6 boy and then the 7th was a girl!” Or “I know someone that had 5 boys… and then oop happened and she had twin boys in her 40s.” SO NOT FUNNY! I don’t really like these stories and or even see the need for them!

There is a season for every thing. I loved pregnancy, labour not so much, babies were heaven. That was a season. The leaves are changing colors.

I am ready! Bring on the teen years. Ok I am really not ready for it yet but what choice do we have?

Moodiness, craziness… I love you, I hate you, I am sorry, I forgive you… Bring it on.

All of you that are pregnant, changing diapers and waking up at night… enjoy the season. It is so special.
And congratulations … better you than me. 🙂

Can I tell you I love blogging? I had been journaling for years, since my early university days. Those are funny to read. As I grew older and time got shorter I found that I would journal only when bad stuff or stressful stuff was happening. Those are not as fun to read… although i do see so many instances where God carried me through it all.

Blogging… it is fulfilling the need to write. Maybe this is my apprenticeship to my book/s. You are my critics… so bring it on.
Thanks for reading and commenting. I have so much to say… so much that goes through my mind in a 24 hour period that it feels great to put it on “paper.” It really do suck at grammar and spelling. Sanj is always criticizing my writing… he is my faithful editor. It has made to want to learn the right ways to spell words I would have just faked. I am learning! And I am not in school!

I love the fact that I can write about anything… it doesn’t matter if anyone is really reading it but if does feel good to get that occasional feedback. So thanks for going on this ride with me.

If you decide to start a blog… I would love to know.

So I will end this blog with a short conversation with Zach (the 6 year old)…
“Mom, when I am in high school and learn to drive… can I have a corvette?”
Me… “Um If you can pay for it.” So likely NO.”

Golf replaces hockey in our home in the warmer weather. It is actually an obsession. Tyler can only think of “when can I get to the course?” It is an effective grounding tool! Too bad I can’t ground Sanj. He just gets plain ole’ grumpy when he can not golf. I have learned it is better to shoo them out the door and then breathe.

Max has joined the gang. He can only golf with Sanj still but cannot get enough. Sammy is my most level headed of the group. He loves it, is really good at it yet knows his limit… and mine.

So I am in Sanj’s vehicle and notice a paper with numbers… its various golf clubs. He responds, “I was just trying a few out.”

Hum… I get it.

I love purses. It was the only thing that never changed sizes on me during the many years of pregnancy.

You don’t need new clubs (or a purse) but it sure is nice to have new accessories. It is fun to have the latest “model.”

Good thing I don’t like golf… I just saw a cute set of pink clubs, oh and then there was the shoes that looked great… well, then I would definitely need a new outfit!

I just finished book called “20 Wishes.” It was a beach read that I breezed through. I was thinking of what are things I really want to do. Some are for now with my kids, others are later with Sanj and a few are ones just for me. Reminded me of the “Bucket List” but rather than waiting till that much later in life I thought of making a list now.

1. Fly a kite with the boys. (We did this with the older boys… but haven’t done so with the younger brood).
2. Have more picnics… real ones… and just be.
3. Look for the positives in my children and let them delight me. (delight… I like that word).
4. Teach my kids to cook… the ones that really like it and I am always in too much of a hurry.
5. Go on a RV trip with the boys. Explore.
Things for Sanj and I:
6. Travel Europe (maybe with a backpack but more likely in 5 stars hotels).
7. Go on an African Safari.
8. Live on water in a warm place.
9. Beat Sanj in a round of golf.
10. Adopt a child.
Things for me:
11. Have a little 2 seater car. Lime green or red!
12. Write a book.
13. Have a book be a best seller that changes people.
14. Become a public speaker… help women empower themselves to be the best they can be.
15. Take a photography class.
Things just because:
16. Adopt a child… or a house full.
17. Be a missionary to a faraway land.
18. Learn to be really good at one sport.
19. Have a horse… learn to ride.
20. Own a store… it would be a store all for boys. Have great clothing and toys just for boys.

Over the last years I have been struggling with God. It’s like we are having an arm wrestling match. I want Him to take my arm and slam it down, HARD and just let me feel that faith I had not too long ago. I would have never let a few life disappointing moments ever kicked my butt. But I must admit the last years, with some huge life changing disappointments, when I really thought God and I were on the same page…I fell hard. My faith was crushed. And though in my heart I really wanted to just brush it off and hang on to that virgin faith… it really hurt.

I know in my heart that God felt my pain. For whatever reason, I know it hurt Him to say no… or not right now… and I know He was looking out for me… but my disappointment and pain was all consuming and crushing. Church hurt. I would go, sit and hear these songs that spoke right to me… and it just hurt. I felt I was being mocked. I realize that God doesn’t do this. I know He is a God of LOVE. I KNOW THIS.

But I just didn’t feel it. I remember being at a women’s retreat… laying out by the water… weeping…. begging God to just wrap His arms around me because at that very moment, I NEED TO FEEL HIM! OK I would like to say, ” then I felt a touch on my shoulder and knew it was a hug from God.” NOPE… rather I saw a rodent and freaked right out! 🙂

I wish it wasn’t so hard. Or maybe it is just hard for me. Maybe all those people that feel God’s touch or hear God’s voice make it hard on people like me.

I realize now that what I got instead WAS hugs… through an amazing group of friends. I just didn’t see it at the time. I found out that as I became part of a bigger thing the pain, hurting and disappointment lessened. Sometimes it is a dull ache. God doesn’t give you something you cannot handle. God must have a LOT of faith in me.

I am handling it. I am growing from it. I am learning to take baby steps toward climbing back up that tower of faith again.
Except i am not so naive anymore. I know that my relationship with God isn’t going to be a bowl of cherries. That was when i was 12. Perhaps He knows I am ready for a grown up relationship with Him. I just needed to see that.

He doesn’t promise it all. He just promises to be there. I love the “Footsteps” poem… I know that He has carried me over the years so many times. There would be no other way I would have made it. I just didn’t have it in me.

He wrapped His arms around me that is why I could cry. He had given me His Shoulder to cry on.

It’s like any relationship with its ups and downs. I am ready for this journey, God. Help me to have total faith. Help me to be that person I know You are shaping me to be. Help me to understand our relationship is that… a relationship. It is going to have its ups and downs and that is OK. I know that you can handle me when I am angry or disappointed. It is OK to be mad, right? It is OK to doubt sometimes, right? But I know that I would rather live in faith that YOU ARE GOD and there is a future and hope. There is a real home for me that is perfect. There is more than this crazy family.. there is HOPE of real true PEACE and PERFECTION.

I NEED to believe. I already tried with out it and it is too hard. It was harder than I thought. So I am ready.
I promise to love you, honor you, be faithful to you in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better , for worse,in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon You my heart’s deepest devotion.

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.
Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.

And, there on television, she said it was “exciting.” Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day…like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.

The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:
I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.”

“I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as “making a life.”

“I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.”

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able throw some things back.”

“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.”

“I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.”

“I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.”

“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.”

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I have read this before, but today as I read it I thought of it as something I want to teach my children.
I love the last one. I think of that in terms of my kids. They will probably forget all the times I lost it (or it will be a blur), they will forget all the THINGS I DO but I am sure that if they are made to FEEL so LOVED and CHERISHED they won’t forget that! You can’t forget that. Think of the people that have made an impact on you, or your life…it is likely how they made you feel.

Of all my children, Josh is THE MOMMA’S BOY. He just loves me. Now I realize that he is 3 and by the time he is 13 he will know doubt hate me. But he makes me feel so loved. Despite the annoyance of being smothered, I have to admit that I love it.
I love how it makes me feel… so needed, wanted and cherished… I know that no one can fill that need but me. (Sorry Sanj)!

This is a picture taken by NASA with the Hubble telescope. They are referring to it as the “Eye of God”. I thought it was a neat God sighting.

In my spiritual walk I am not one of those people who have had God “speak” through them. I have had feeling, thoughts maybe even nudges but the few times I thought God was telling me something… I ended up being very mislead. So I have really tried hard to just let things reveal themselves. I know people that have said they literally felt a hand on their shoulder and knew it was God.

I complained about this to my Doctor during one of my sessions and she simply said, “You are not sitting still to let Him.” Well as annoying as that answer was there is obviously some truth in there. But I did reply, “Well God did give me the gift of ADHD! He knows I can’t sit still!” I am sure God doesn’t have favorites. (Though I must admit, it seem that way may times).

Anyway, as I am working on my relationship with God, I have decided to look for Him in the every day. Our pastor preached a sermon once on “God Sightings.” I liked that. When I stopped and looked or listened, I could see His Hand.

So I on a quest for God Sighting in my own life. It has been bothering me that I did not bother to blog this experience… so here it is… and I definitely know this was God’s intervention. As you know, I went to Maryland with Josh for my brother’s graduation. I got to the airport… ready to get this show on the road. As I get into line, the lady asked for Josh’s passport. Well we usually always drive and his birth certificate was enough. My travel agent didn’t say anything either. The lady said that she was sure that they wouldn’t let me through… but she would talk to her supervisor. All I could think about was the money that I had just spent!

Well a long story short, I had to go to the immigration room (where they enjoy causing stress), be granted a one time pass, missed my flight by 10 minutes, waited till 5 pm and missed all but the last 5 minutes of my brother’s party.

I did pray throughout this whole stressful process. I know this was a God thing because each person made sure I knew THIS never happened.

Thank you God for coming through for me! It was great to celebrate my brother’s accomplishment.

God sighting… my definition is simply things that occur with divine intervention … there is simply no other way. Well unless you believe in luck, a rabbit’s foot or karma. I have decided that it is comforting to believe in a higher power. A father that is looking out for my best interest, loving me and guiding me.

I would love to hear your God sighting if you want to share. I will share mine as I see them… this may take a while, as I am near sighted!

This is a recipe I make maybe twice a year. It is baked french toast that you make the night before. It is delicious! When you read the recipe, you will see why I make it only twice a year.

INGREDIENTS
1/2 (1 pound) loaf French bread, cut diagonally in 1 inch slices
4 eggs
1 cup milk
3/4 cup half-and-half cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup and 2 tablespoons butter
2/3 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon and 1-1/2 teaspoons light corn syrup

DIRECTIONS
Butter a 9×13 inch baking dish. Arrange the slices of bread in the bottom. In a large bowl, beat together eggs, milk, cream, vanilla and cinnamon. Pour over bread slices, cover, and refrigerate overnight.
The next morning, preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). In a small saucepan, combine butter, brown sugar and corn syrup; heat until bubbling. Pour over bread and egg mixture.
Bake in preheated oven, uncovered, for 40 minutes.

This is for 6 people or so. Enjoy!!!

I am no doubt ADHD… usually if life isn’t full speed ahead then it is not what I know. Obviously, life is simply busy with normal stuff that is part of being a family. As I am reassessing life, making changes and tackling challenges, I have realized that I do not take time to really breathe.

Of course everyone living person breathe’s naturally through the nostrils, without attempting to control our breath. What I have realized lately is when I am feeling panicked, I need to stop and just breathe. I had this moment this weekend. It was half an hour to our open house and I was in the shower feeling VERY overwhelmed. I have never had a panic attack but image it was close to what I felt at the moment.

Suddenly I realized I just needed to breathe. DEEP BREATHES and FOCUS on only that for a moment. Maybe I am breathing dyslexic!

When I was pregnant with Sammy, Sanj and I went to the prenatal classes and one of the things they teach you is breathing. That whole HEE HEE HA or is it HA HA HE? Anyway, being the ever faithful student Sanj, during labour Sanj told me, “You are breathing wrong!” I assure you this did not go over well with me!

Maybe this is something that all of you do or know. But I have found another coping method (especially when Zantax isn’t available)! I know it is a form of meditation but I am not at that place to sit or focus for 10-15 minutes. Perhaps I will grow to that at some point. My father in law does yoga every morning. Discipline is what I am working towards.

I was at the doctor’s today and heard the usual, “You have 6 boys?!!!” We are more like a smaller family when you look at the Duggar Family…

They have 17 children and are expecting their 18th! 10 boys and 7 girls… Joshua, Jana & John-David (twins), Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah & Jeremiah (twins), Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer (and #18 due in January 2009!).

They are all homeschooled too! They were featured on TLC’s show ” 16 and moving.”

OK, Normal IS Relative!

Sammy came back from a trip overnight school trip. As I sat in the car, I watched him goofing around with his friends, laughing, portraying an image of happiness. The car door opens and BOOM… he turns into the miserable child who is wrought with over tiredness.

A while ago, after watching this similar behavior over and over again I called him on it. There is a story of the “2 Carolines” in the Bedtime Stories. It is about a child acting one way with her teacher and then coming home and treating her mother horrible. One day after she is rude to her mother, her mom tells her there is a visitor in the living room. Of course Caroline is shocked to see her teacher sitting there and had listened to her horrid behavior and was there for dinner.

I never forgot that story. I called Sammy (and the other boys in general) on their behavior. How could they be one way with their friends and then another with family in the car? “You are being 2 faced!” I will never forget Sammy’s answer…”You do it too with your friends!” (SLAP ME ACROSS THE FACE)!

How many times have I yelled and then one of my friends comes to the window, I put a smile on and talk all nice?

Way is it so easy to be the hardest on the ones you love the most?

I have been trying really hard to be REAL with my children and my friends all the time. Would I act like this if my friend was in the room? I sure hope so or at least have made a bigger effort.