I feel sick to my stomach.
Is it sympathy pains? My Max is still throwing up after every meal. This is week eight… Ridiculous.
We are off to Sick Kids in Toronto today. I was hoping and praying that it would just be gone… this thing that has him throwing up. We had such a busy weekend… and through it all Max was a trooper.
Last night we went to the Mongolian Grill to celebrate Sammy’s birthday… with a few of his friends and my brother’s family. Max ate and then threw up. He ate more than threw up. He ate and then threw up.
This is my Max.
Resilient.
I am feeling the stress of this day. I want answers. I want a fix. Yet I have this fear of the unknown. I have this fear of the dreaded IV. I have a fear of the answers too.
Last night I tossed and turned as I dreamed of taking Max to the hospital. It was a crazy dream of mismatched bits.
I am asking everyone to pray… if you don’t mind. I won’t lie. I am scared. I know that once I get there, to the hospital, I’ll be in a mode. I will hold my babe’s hand as they do things to him. I’ll be strong… and find that super strenght that comes from only above.
And yet… I’ll be scared out of my mind.
I asked him… “Max, did you swallow a hockey puck?” He denies it.
My brother and family are leaving today. It is the first week of summer. It’s not the way I saw summer starting. Yet… it’s the hand that we are dealt. So I will have to deal with this reality.
Dear Jesus,
I am coming to You, scared, tired, so exhausted for my Max. Jesus, he has been sick a long time. Please help us help him. Please equip the doctors with knowledge of what is wrong with Max. Please heal him. Please.
Keep things calm at home while I am off...
Jesus… please heal my baby!
Please! I love you, Jesus.
So much.
Amen.
And Thank You!
✟