Being married almost 15 years, I have to say that I wish I had a proper definition of marriage. I would still have married my dearly loved (most of the time) hubby… but would have had a more real understanding of what the “until death do us part” really entailed.
Not having witnessed a “normal” marriage… I got a lot of my facts from the movies I watched and books I read. I knew a few (emphasis on few) couple with marriages that I thought were “happy.” Then I would find out later that they broke up.
I think that one of the key components to “happily ever after” is understand there is no perfection in marriage. ANY 2 people that live together will get on each other’s nerves. Remember your roommate’s stuff creeping over to your side? Or constantly using your shampoo? Everyone and anyone living together is bound to get on each other’s nerve.
Understanding that there is no perfection in marriage… you need to allow for room to fine tune life as it happens. I think one of the problems with marriages is that there is always an out. Divorce. Unless there is abuse… if you know in your heart you are in this for better or worse… with “an out” not an option… you are forced to work on things. You are pressed to find answers because its life… for better or worse.
I think that it is so easy to fall out of love if you let yourself. There are many times in my marriage that I had to CHOSE to love Sanj… to find a postitive that I could work on loving him again… because he just made me so mad.
SO… as I am 40 years old… into almost 15 years of marriage… I realize that we are just a normal couple. Loving and hating each other is just part of the journey we are on.
God, despite the fact that I do often question why you brought this crazy man I love so much into my life… who has the ability to drive me insane…. make me madder than most…. I know that he is Your special gift to me.
So I thank you for the gift of love, marriage, friendship. Thank you that I can have this 3 part gift all in one.
If You could tweak him just a bit…. I would appreciate it so much.
There is no perfect love period. When you decide to take a chance on love… whether your parents, friends or a spouse… You risk the chance of hurt. I didn’t have clear understanding of real love. It isn’t that kind in the books and movies. There is no real Cinderella story… we all have happy endings… they just come in different packages.
I love that line… they just come in different packages! There isn’t just one ending… where the Prince comes and carries the Princess away. What about the Princess coming along and saving the Prince?
The one thing I do know is that If I love my spouse like he is the only one I will ever have… then he will be. I know that despite issues that come up in marriages… I need to work it out. It is the only choice.
I know that when I comes down to the bottom line… I would rather spend my life with Sanj in it… despite all his quirky ways then be without him.