The Clique

It always amazes me how as adults we tend to naturally become cliquish. Is this intentional? I don’t think so. Yet, if people feel excluded or unwelcome is it a clique?

A friend of mine mentioned that she thought a certain group of ladies were kind of cliquish. What was interesting was I was feeling a little uncomfortable with this group or being linked to them as a group. So it made me think about how it would appear to the outside looking in. If these folks had any idea this is how they were viewed… I had to believe that they would be disturbed. I am giving them the benefit of doubt.

Then I also had to ask… do we become friends with the “non-christian” midst a group of professed christians… to “witness” to them? Then what?

I am not saying this is all based on any facts… I am just looking in a window… and I see this group that has become a small unit.

It always disturbs me to see friendships go by the wayside. Especially when there is no reason. Most of my friendships … are lifers. You are stuck with me. We may not talk daily etc…. but if I love you… you are stuck.

So I wonder if we as Christians are cliquish? Is it easier to be friends with a christian verses a non-christian? Should that be even taken into account?

I would have to say no. If you are my friend, it is because I enjoy you… the whole person. We may have different beliefs… I am not a animal lover… you may be. You may eat octopus… I will not hold it against you…

I have a hard time with the concept of witnessing … by befriending. The best witness of Christianity is just by being. No one should have to ASK if I am a christian. I truly hope it is in my spirit, my actions, it is just a part of who I am.

Yet… being a Christian does not make us better than others. I know that many people will be in heaven because they live a true Christian life just being who they are every day.

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2 Responses to The Clique

  1. Anonymous says:

    I believe we live and breath cliques everyday.Cliques can be very healthy. The difference between the cliques is how loud they scream their identity and how prejudice they are to others around them. If I attend yoga class each day, I don't feel the need to ram my beliefs of the health benefits of yoga down the step class participants throat. Why not focus on the benefits we both reap from our experiences, and be happy for the other, instead of convincing ourselves that the other person needs 'saved' from self destruction. My most predominant experiences of cliques have been with religion and money. Money is quite easy to control. You remain generous, take care of people without their knowledge, donate often, and don't be flashy. I believe when you become very comfortable with 'fitting into society' instead of 'hovering over society' those individuals who attempt to impress actually make me feel sorry for them. They must be exhausted by the end of the day! Religion on the other hand can make anyone feel important regardless of social status, physical appearance, education…etc. You are instantly a part of the in crowd. Sometimes the desire to be a part of something clouds the judgment of being able to see another side of a person. When forming a clique, why can't we offer membership, and except refusal without exclusion?

  2. Anonymous says:


    When forming a clique, why cant we offer membership, and accept refusal without exemption?