This weekend of being with my brother made me really ponder the relationships between siblings. I am sure it is most parents desire to see their children become friends, especially if they are close in age.
The older I grow and the more I hear, I realize that a sibling relationship that is close is not something to be taken for granted.
i always thought that growing up together simply gave way to friendship. Maybe it isn’t easy but it is always there. And when it doesn’t happen that is more an oddity.
Yet it seems many siblings are in the middle… not especially close but yet there. Some siblings are just plain hard to like. I always would think that this was just BAD… not to like your sibling… so you just keep trying. But fact is… siblings are whole persons… with bits of you in them… a shared childhood… which may be remembered totally different.
Just as you can’t force friendship… maybe some family relations are just not in your best interest for you to be the best person you can be. Sad, though. I struggle with this. I know that not all my children may be best buddies with each other. But I truly do hope that each of them connects with one and they all have a sibling that is their buddy. I hope that they can always be there for each other and love each other. I do realistically hope and pray for that they all have wonderful relationships with each other that surpass girlfriends, jobs, mistakes and wives.
My youngest brother and I have always been close… Well I will speak for myself… I have always felt close to him. I mentioned to him that we never fight. He replied “some people choice not to fight.” Guess this doesn’t mean we don’t get angry at each other… but choice to deal with that anger in other ways.
We are so different too. Yet you can see we are cut from the same cloth in many ways. The 5 year age difference is a factor in some ways too. Yet when the rubber meets the road we are there for each other.
I always felt that no matter what … family is forever. But this doesn’t mean that you have to like every one or keep a relationship with members that hurt you or inflict pain… emotional or physical. My friend hears from her sister every once in a while… and finds this relationship a very stressful one. Or someone else keep their distance from her brother because he is a gambler and alcoholic and in constant downward spiral.
Making the decision to cut out a friend or family is one that is painful, often to do, yet can be so insightful.
One of my friends said… ” I do not miss having my sibling in my life. It is easier and healthier.”
So I pray for my boys. I pray that they love each other. I hope that they learn to be friends with each other and that in life there is only one go at it. So treat people as you would love to have them treat you. Go the extra mile. Girls will come and go… but brothers need to stick together. Family is a gift… one that should you choice to treasure… will be forever.