Broken Heart, ADD and Bucket List

Day 2 in this new year… I’m writing!  Zach asked me what my Bucket List was for this year… and I had to pause.  I’ve given up on New Year’s Resolutions because I suck at the stick to it factor.  (Sanj… stop snickering)!  What is my Bucket List for this year?  Well, I really want to write again.  I miss it.  It, writing feels to therapeutic and yet when I don’t post it, I seem to feel like I have failed and it doesn’t count.

I really need to exercise and fix my diet … but while it is a constant try again, that sounds a little too much like a New Year Resolution.  Ugh!  I really want to better my character.  I want to try harder to be non-judgmental.  I want to tell to just love people, period.  Ugh, sometimes it’s  a hard thing to love those that annoy me or having annoying quirks.

Today my mil (mother-in-law) is in for open heart surgery.  It has me thinking of life and death and that fine line.  It has me wondering what will someone write in my obituary?  Am I living a life that will make me blush with pleasure as they talk about me?  Or will I be shamed?  What about the people that are just not nice?  What do they say?  Do they make it up?  I think a lot of my dad and his death and what we will do and say.

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I’m finding myself restless… being still, waiting and behaving! The only channel on is CNN and foolish chatter about Donald Trump.  Ugh.

It’s a bad day to be ADD!

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