The weather was forecasting crazy weather last night, every thing from snow to rain and everything in between so we woke up with the hope and expectation of a snow day. Before waking the boys, I checked the web which pronounced that buses were cancelled! Wahoo! I looked outside and there was nothing. Sigh. So while the high school kids were off, I decided to drive the younger boys in. No sooner did I get home when a ton of snow fell and coloured my world white. Then the rain fell and it was so gross out and yet I love that look that God created with the freezing rain kinda weather. So beautiful!!!
On the flip side I wore my fave shoes and by the time I got home my feet were soaked and frozen!!!
So many miss matched thoughts were buzzing though my head today…
***I was thinking of the verdict of the man that killed a grandfather and three little kids, his grandkids and the mom, as she expressed her pain and heart ache as he got just 5-8 years for impaired driving. I can’t even begin to fathom… this mom’s life will never be the same. Ever. Stupidity and selfishness for any one who choices to drive and then drink… why would you ever take that chance, ever?
***I was thinking of people that choose to end their life.. how much pain they must be in to do it… to jump or pull the trigger or… what ever method they use and yet what if tomorrow is better? They never had that chance… On Facebook, I shared an article, “The Morning After I Killed Myself” (click to read), the last paragraph made me pause… “The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. …….The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.”
There’s always hope until you take that hope away. It’s hard to get help sometimes, to pick up the phone, to renew your prescription, it’s hard. Yet not impossible… ask for help. Seek it. I think that having a buddy system is a great idea… well it is for me. You know, at AA, you have a sponsor… your “go to” person… why not have that with let’s say, mental illness (I hate that term). I love that I have a friend, family member and shoot, even my own kids that will call me out… ask me if I am doing ok… and when I am acting crazy, they love me enough to ask… “Are you taking your crazy/happy pill?” I realize that having that support is so important to my sanity. I hate being so lax when it comes to my mental health but… that’s me, I guess!
***I was really missing my boys being younger today. I was thinking that in 10 years so much will be different. I’ll be so close to 60 years old… HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? Josh will be 20 meaning Sammy will be 30 years old!!! That means marriages, DILS, grand babies and so much more!!! This thought came as I saw a couple of houses for sale the last months were SOLD… which got me thinking if this house we are in is are last home or will we move once more with the kids? I won’t answer that because that would stress Sanj right out.
***Sanj and I were discussing how much we are SO OPPOSITES of each other!!! I’m so glad that he is tolerate of my craziness, of me not being a morning person, of being a procrastinator, of being a hyper active person who never stops fidgeting… Oh I could go on… but I adore this guy!
***Is it weird that I was craving KD? As we are on a journey to better eating and better health, I found myself buying a few boxes of KD Creamy and thought of making it just for me while the boys were in school. Weird right? I know. It’s the first thing I learned to cook. 🙂 Well, speaking of weird… today Max took a box with him to a friend’s home. I asked him if he enjoyed it… he said he was curious how it would taste if cooked with chocolate milk. I guess he learned that it didn’t taste so good. I guess my weirdness gene is a pretty powerful one! It’s being passed on… lol
Ah… just a few thoughts from my crazy busy, never stops thinking, mind. My boys surround me, wondering if tomorrow buses will be cancelled again? I’d say at this point, it’s 50/50. Hope your day was a great one and your night even better.