Crazy…

I remember losing it … really losing it… when I had babes. I always called it postpartum. It seemed to get worse with each baby. After Josh I sought help because the rage I felt scared me. I have talked about this before. I thought I was over the worst of it.

Tonight… I felt that rage. I felt crazy and scared. My mom has been visiting and catching up on my laundry. I so appreciate it.
Yet I still need to sort and makes piles and then the boys help me put away. The huge mass of laundry over took me tonight.
I have been feeling anxious over it. Tomorrow my in-laws are coming. It is a huge pile on the dining room table. HUGE.

I have been feeling it overtake me. I told the boys that we can have fun but when we get home we all have to put it away.
(We went to see Night at the Museum and dinner) to celebrate Father’s Day before we do the family thing.

I am not sure what my son does not get about respect. I am not sure what I have done wrong. He is SO disrespectful. He has no qualms about consequences. I am still shaking from feeling crazy.

I remember we always KNEW when my dad was going to lose it. It was a no brainer. There were always signs. Me becoming crazy… there are signs. I even voice my impending craziness.

It scared everyone. They all seem to know it behave… or at least be a little afraid of me. Everyone works quietly and quickly. No complaining.

We always are warned of the raging hormones of teens. My kids know … mommy has raging hormones too. There are signs when it is that time.

I feel like crap. I feel anger that my child seems to have no sense to talk foolishness.

I would have been _____less! My child does not care. Where have I gone wrong? Please tell me!

Crazy. I am feeling like the craziness in my family didn’t go to far.

I am so appreciative that I have thoughtful sons too. I appreciate the unconditional love that is showered despite my looney tune ways.

I am not sure what next. But I do know that I have laid it down in no uncertain terms. DISRESPECT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED TOWARDS ME OR ANYONE. If you do not have something nice then zip it.