Families Are Forever. I have this wall hanging in our family room. I am not sure why I bought it except that I thought maybe it was to remind the boys that no matter who comes and goes in their lives, their family will always be there.
But I have always felt discombobulated about this saying. It is a hard one for me.
You are born into the family you have. There was no choice in that matter. Most of us make the best of that. Many of us learn to love and overlook. We learn to accept and deal with the cards handed out. If you are really luck, you are blessed with a family that loving them is just easy.
We went to some friends house for a swim and the mom was saying how the two boys who are Sammy and Tyler’s age are best friends. She always had them do things together. I wondered how that is achieved. How do brothers become friends?
I don’t think that it is something you can force. I think that it has to be a natural thing that occurs.
Most of the people I know are siblings but not necessarily friends. They do the family thing and like each other well enough, respect each other but are not what I would call best buds.
Then there are those that I know that are great friends. They chat, hang out and like being with each other.
I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about loving. My cousin mentioned that there were also people that you love but don’t like.
How true this is! If it wasn’t for that blood that ties family, would some people be in your life?
I struggle with that.
Family. I like the saying “Every family tree has a few nuts.” As I look at my boys, I long for them to have a lifelong relationship that goes beyond being brothers.
But I know that a lot of that depends of life experiences and the people that go and come into their lives.
Sometimes family can be unhealthy. Some of those people you love can be unsafe. Some of them simply cause pain.
Where do I go with this in the way of family?
My friend told me that I needed a new definition of family.
She gave me a wall hanging. It said;
1. people who share a common start
and grow to share a common heart.
I love that. We are family who share a common start, we have a history. Yet it is up to each one to choice to continue to nurture that start to grow into a beautiful friendship.
As I watch some of my boys, their mixing is reminiscent of mixing oil and vinegar. They are two totally different entities.
No matter how much I try they are not going to mix. Yet they can choice to appreciate their differences (is my hope) and develop a mutual respect towards one another.
And some of my others boys are each other’s shadow. They play, fight, play and would be lost without the other.
Family… it is o.k. to have to grow apart despite the common start. Sometimes life just demands that. Yet how wonderful it is when it is able to take that common start and grow to share a common heart.