I start this blog out with a disclaimer… I love my boys and husband. I love my life as I know it… 99.4 % of the time.
This is that .6% that is speaking.
I am sure many of you know what I am talking about. I am pretty sure it is normal… and if you say you never have felt like this… I would say you are lying or unique.
I wonder what it would be like to just get in the car and go. Leave life as I know it behind. If it was possible to take away the emotions of missing and loving all that I would leave behind…. what would I do? Where would I go?
I love driving. I love no destination. I would love to just get lost. Maybe New York City or some bayou somewhere?
I really see myself by water… usually the ocean. I see myself truly relaxed and feeling peace. I would probably munch on some peanut brittle, have a diet Coke handy and a book. It wouldn’t be too hot and there wouldn’t be too many bugs.
I would sleep till I couldn’t sleep anymore.
I would eat without guilt.
I would reacquaint myself with friends that I only struggle to keep in touch because life gets in the way.
I would just exhale. A nice, long fulfilling exhale.
It would be all about me.
Then I am sure I would get bored.
But that time that it took to really allow myself to exhale was perfect.
I have found me again. Not the mom me, the wife me, the friend me, daughter me, the sister me… but rather the me that was there before every bit of me was being tugged by all the other mes.
Is this a crazy post? Probably. I just sometimes feel like the me that is really me gets so lost.
I forget me so often. I don’t want to do that. I want to have moments where I remember all of me there is.
I was thinking that running away from all the mes would help me do that.
I suppose there is a time when that me will be my focus again.
Right now the mommy-me needs to call my babes in to start ending this day.