Whose Child Are You?

I just wrote my blog about Manners this afternoon.  As I was writing, I couldn’t help but worry about how this blog on manners was written to myself.  See, over the last 15 years I have parented non-stop… well because there in no Pause Button while Parenting.  I was younger, full of energy and then some.  I could keep up with 5 laddies in 7 years.  Is that even right or possible?  (OK, Let’s not go there… I was insane)!!!  I taught my boys there please and thank you.  I taught them to obey and listen for the most part (though since they have became teens some of them seem to have lost those lessons… in the wake of their hormones).

I felt pretty good about the boys.  My first, second, third, fourth and fifth were my life work and I was proud to put them on display  (of course there were always the exceptions over the years).

THEN… came Josh.  I will be the first to admit, we didn’t need another baby.  Yet, when those pangs hit… there is no ignoring them.  Then there is Sanj… he never says NO to me.  I wanted to try one last time for a girl.  I just couldn’t give it up.  I knew we had the odds against us.  Yet… I was willing to try and really I loved babies!

So, Josh came along.  He was stubborn from day 1.  He took 12 hours to finally get out of my body!  Zach took TWO hours.  Everyone was scared at the quickness of his birth.  Well, little did we know that there was no need to worry… he was going to take his sweet painful time.  Then came his obsession with me.  I was suffering from postpartum depression in a bad way… I needed him to leave me alone.  He wouldn’t listen.  The more I needed space, the more he smothered me with love.

Over the years, I would like to think that I have raised him the same as the others.  He was spoiled with love and yet taught the things you teach your laddies.  Yet… being number 6, he also had the loving of 5 other brothers who found it easier to just give into his will then fight it.

I found it easy to give into his needs so that he would quiet down and give me the 15 minutes to make supper or do the endless things that needed to be done.

I try to stay strong.  I feel like i am reprimanding and correcting yet it is so different.  When I swatted his butt, after it was much needed, he looked at me and said, “That didn’t hurt.”  When taking away something, he will say, “I’m telling Daddy on you.”

Where did I get this child from?


Yesterday, at the soccer tournament, our principal came to Josh and said, “Josh, we really miss you at school.”

Josh looks at him and says, “You do?  And who else?”

I told Sanj this conversation and he just shakes his head and says, “that is one egocentric child!”
I am forever trying to teach him manners and yet he seems to view it as an inconvenience.  Did my other boys have manners mastered at the age of 5?

Maybe at the tender age of 42 years old, I am just to old to be raising at 5 year old!  The child of mine sure does give me a run for my money.  I love him to death.  Despite the pain in the booty that he is, never have I experienced unconditional love in this way.  In the morning, as he wakes up, he will say, “Mommy, I want you.”  This means, he wants me to turn my face to him, draw him close and snuggle him nose to nose, quite literally and he will fall back asleep for a bit.

He is forever touching me, my leg, my shirt, having some physically contact while I cook, type, read or sleep.  I am forever being told that he loves me.

So… I am wondering, is it natural to slack off and relax with the parenting with number 6?  Does the youngest turn out just as polite and mannered as the others, maybe by osmosis?

If you see my youngest and he forgets to say Thank  You or Please… please feel free to parent him.  I’ll appreciate it!

I often say that Josh was given to me by God as instant birth control.  If he wasn’t this pernickety babe… who knows if another  may have followed?!!!  YIKES!

Love you, Josh!  Please be a good boy!  Thank You!

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