I was not happy to be woken at 7 a.m., my hubby was off to the gym. Then, I hear the thump and then the running of feet. Zach… up and not going back to bed. WHY, OH WHY can this never happen on a school day? Sigh.
Hockey is starting up again. Just one practice today… then Sanj has his game tonight. Feels like summer was never here. It is cool and brisk out. The colours are beautiful. Fall is here. Soon, there will be snow! Thanksgiving is next weekend. This means a busy week! At school, we (the Good Neighbour Committee) are putting on a Thanksgiving Lunch for Seniors. A homemade Thanksgiving Dinner with all the trimmings. I have 3 turkeys that need to be baked. Last year we had a turkey come in with a note… “if still pink, nuke it.” Wow.. really? Imagine all these seniors going home with food poisoning. If you are going to do something, do it right, the first time… please! 🙂
Oh well, the boys seem restless. Fighting over silly stuff. PLEASE! How hard is it to love each other???
I was sitting in the family room, looking at albums. I took lots of pictures even as a young person. I was good about putting them in albums. Guess I had a lot of time on my hands!
I was so young. I look, really look at my face, at my expression and wonder what I was thinking in these pictures. Most of them are from university days. I seemed so carefree and happy. I laughed a lot. I had fun. I love the pictures capturing those moments. I hosted parties a lot. I was always buying a cake and celebrating my friends’ birthday or acceptance in to a school of their choice… always a party and a cake. (Where did I get the money from?)I felt so weird as I looked back into yesterday as to how many friends have died. How strange to see that life cut so short. I love that I have a picture capturing their smile.
I then went on to look at pictures of my wedding and being pregnant with Sammy. Wow… I looked so young. I was so young. 25-26 years of age isn’t really that young… but I just know what I know now and wish that I felt that confidence in my heart back then.
I was so enamored with Sanj. I don’t mean this is a bad thing… but see back then, I am pretty sure I loved him much more than he loved me. I mean, I loved him forever. Sure that love was hidden behind friendship, but if he ever had suggested we take it past friendship, I was ready. I was forever writing about him in my journals… asking God to let him be my prince charming. Oh sure, I was alway crushing, even dating someone between the time we became friends… till we finally got together… but… this man always had my heart.
My bestie forbade me to write or call Sanj (she was friends with him too) again, till he made some effort in our friendship. Pathetic, really, I was! I was the one that kept our friendship alive for many sad years!
So, when I say that early in our marriage I was enamored by this man… that I loved him more, I am sure that it is the truth. I saw him as my older (by almost 4 years), been working and got it together man. I saw Sanj as so mature and way smarter than me. This intimated me for years. I was in unfamiliar territory… moving here to Toronto. We were with his friends, his family and his history. I had no one here.
Yet I loved him. I was ready to leave my history behind as I was running from the unhappiness I grew up with and was ready to start a new start with the man I loved. I am not sure when we became more equals. Probably when I stood up to his parents one ugly day. It was not a pretty scene. Yet, I knew that I had to stand up or else my future was going to be one that was full of stuff I didn’t want.
I think in that moment of standing up to my mother-in-law, I grew up. I never really stood up to anyone else before. Yet, having babes that I was responsible for made me brave and gave me courage that I didn’t know I had.
That night, Sanj stood up for me too. It was the first time that he choice his wife over his mother. Wow… that was hard on everyone.
Yet that was the moment I learned that I was my husband’s equal. It was a defining moment for me, for us.
Looking at the pictures I saw myself grow up over the years. I can see us as a couple growing together. I can see us growing deeper in love despite the changes in us… pounds added on, grey hair showing in more of the pictures, youth fading away as age starts to leave its mark.
I love this man. I have loved him, it seems, forever. I know he loves me just as much, if not more. I mean, I have become so irresistible… right? Thank goodness for pictures that can document our lives and love.
I was so enamored with Sanj. I don’t mean this is a bad thing… but see back then, I am pretty sure I loved him much more than he loved me. I mean, I loved him forever. Sure that love was hidden behind friendship, but if he ever had suggested we take it past friendship, I was ready. I was forever writing about him in my journals… asking God to let him be my prince charming. Oh sure, I was alway crushing, even dating someone between the time we became friends… till we finally got together… but… this man always had my heart.
My bestie forbade me to write or call Sanj (she was friends with him too) again, till he made some effort in our friendship. Pathetic, really, I was! I was the one that kept our friendship alive for many sad years!
So, when I say that early in our marriage I was enamored by this man… that I loved him more, I am sure that it is the truth. I saw him as my older (by almost 4 years), been working and got it together man. I saw Sanj as so mature and way smarter than me. This intimated me for years. I was in unfamiliar territory… moving here to Toronto. We were with his friends, his family and his history. I had no one here.
Yet I loved him. I was ready to leave my history behind as I was running from the unhappiness I grew up with and was ready to start a new start with the man I loved. I am not sure when we became more equals. Probably when I stood up to his parents one ugly day. It was not a pretty scene. Yet, I knew that I had to stand up or else my future was going to be one that was full of stuff I didn’t want.
I think in that moment of standing up to my mother-in-law, I grew up. I never really stood up to anyone else before. Yet, having babes that I was responsible for made me brave and gave me courage that I didn’t know I had.
That night, Sanj stood up for me too. It was the first time that he choice his wife over his mother. Wow… that was hard on everyone.
Yet that was the moment I learned that I was my husband’s equal. It was a defining moment for me, for us.
Looking at the pictures I saw myself grow up over the years. I can see us as a couple growing together. I can see us growing deeper in love despite the changes in us… pounds added on, grey hair showing in more of the pictures, youth fading away as age starts to leave its mark.
I love this man. I have loved him, it seems, forever. I know he loves me just as much, if not more. I mean, I have become so irresistible… right? Thank goodness for pictures that can document our lives and love.