The N Word. The F Word.

I kind of wish for those days when I got home from school, threw my backpack on the ground and vegged out in front of the t.v.  I wasn’t worried about supper, clean up, laundry (especially since my dryer is broken), going to the gym with Tyler, getting the kids to bed early tonight, lunch tomorrow and finally at some point later, bed.

I have a few minutes today because Sanj isn’t coming home right away… (what’s new…).  He is going back to work to figure out  plans for the business.  The boys had a snack and so everyone is actually just relaxing.  The last two days we have eaten out, on the run, due to hockey.  Tonight I am fixing something healthy, making sure there is the veggie intake and all that good stuff.
Tomorrow the younger crew has a PA day!  Yah for them.  I have an extra boy for the next 2 days.  I am hoping to get a lot done.  Tomorrow Jordan and Josh have to go to the dentist again.  That cuts right into my afternoon time… but oh well… 
It was such a lovely day outside today.  Very windy but bright and sunny.  I love days like this.
Tyler has been called the N word at school.  This is so distrubing.  I hate when people hurt my babes.  I really makes me want to hurt them… bad.
What makes kids use words like that?  Is there really a need?  Just using that word shows such ignorance.  It makes me realize that you are so little… so uncouth, so ugly.  It makes me wonder what hurts have you had?  Sorry, but it makes me really want to hurt you.

There is so many words that I wonder where they came from.  The N word, I understand that history.  Again, ignorance… we are not African American.  We are from India.  Dealing with this ignorance can be so tiring.  Sanj and I both grew up as minorities in the towns we were raised.  There was always prejudices and such ignorance.  I guess it is ironic that this is were we have come to… a small town with ignorances and the constant levels of prejudices.

Words… The F word.  Is that really necessary?  I heard kids using it… such young ones and wonder, do you really think that makes you cool?  I had this talk with my Sammy.  I heard him using the kosher version.  Why use it?  It is something that makes you look ignorant.    It is such a hard, ugly word.  Why use it?  There really is no use for it.  I really hope that some of what I said made its way down to Sammy’s core.  When I hear the word used, I cringed.  I look at the person speaking and immediately my opinion is lowered.  I find myself classifying them as ignorant.

I hold grudges.  Is that bad?  Probably.  I am forever talking to my boys about forgiving each other.  Today I heard about this boy that hurt one of my boys.  I felt my heart race and still had the urge to swish him like a bug.

I am writing… but really should be making my supper for my babes.  That is the problem when you actually stop for a moment… all the exhaustion settles in … you know?

This is a picture of my Josh and me… how come when he eats an apples or carrots, they look so yummy?

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