My body is falling apart!

I have given myself till the end of the weekend to blog this. Someone said that once it is out there, it is freeing. i realize it is not a big deal compared to the many things others are going through but I am still a bit saddened by this.

I am a diabetic. Apparently I was doomed … due to family history. I wouldn’t care as much except that 1) I HATE NEEDLES… I know it is a pin prick… but the anticipation of it totally freaks me out. I am not sure how I will learn to just prick my finger.

Then my mom is here… and since the kids know, she knows. She keeps saying …” Shall we see what your blood sugar is at?” Why doesn’t she just say… “Here. Let me stab your finger?”

2) As my friend said, sugar is my drug of choice. It is how I comfort myself. I love pieces of Wonder bread with butter lathered on it and then sprinkle a generous toss of sugar. It is even better warmed up so the butter melts just a bit. We grew up eating this as a treat! Hum… (OK I did not eat very often)!

Just give me something sweet. I love a spoonful of condensed milk… just out of the can. YUM! OK you can see why I have this disease. How come I can’t be addicted to carrots and celery? Or to the gym?

All right, enough of the whining. My doctor knows that I hate needles so has just told me “NO SUGAR” and follow the food guide more carefully and fit in some exercise. And then we will see where we are in three months. How easy is that?

So first of all, I have just made a couple of goals for myself. No sugar… and taking that one day at a time… and celebrating each day’s success. Second, making this a family lifestyle change… we eat decent but could definitely add some more healthy habits.

Well first of all, I have been off sugar for 10 days. I am so proud of myself. Especially because both weekends involved being out and around of goodies.

I am not a big bread or sandwich person. And I really dislike brown… whole wheat sticks to your ribs… bread. I ate it by choice today, twice. Can’t say I like it but I am hoping to change my thoughts towards food. Hopefully I will learn to eat simply to fuel my body rather than comfort myself.

OK the blessing in all this is perhaps I will reach a very important goal by my fortieth b-day… which is losing a certain amount of weight. I have been doing pretty good but perhaps this will give me the kick in the pants I need.

I was very sad. But part of that was just hating the fact that sucky family history gives you no choice. I hate that fact that this is another bad thing I am going to pass on. But at the end of the day… I am OK. I will learn to live with it in a healthy, the best I can way.

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