Growing up it seems everyone had a best friend. I didn’t have one till we moved to Florida… Heather Cavanaugh. We lived in the same apartment complex, went to the same church and school and in our free times played together. I remember she had a water bed! I was so envious. She was a only child and lived with her mom.
I loved going over to her apartment. Those three years we did everything together. She became part of of our family quite easily. I was so sad when we left Florida to move (for no explainable reason) to Ohio. YUK. We wrote often, talked occasionally and stayed friends for a period of time. She came for my high school graduation. I was so happy.
In Ohio, I wouldn’t say I had a best friend. I didn’t really have close friends. I had a friend, Donna Perry. We were both misfits with unshared issues at home. I think we were not “best friends” because this was a one sided relationship… I was the one always talking. She was a good listener. But never really shared much… till much later. We helped each other survive high school.
In university, as I have said before, life changed. I made lots of great friends. My girlfriend from high school became one of my best friends.
I have found that as an adult, that word BEST FRIEND can cause pain. What is a best friend? There in is were the pain can lie. Each person’s definition and expectations are different.
Best friends can change as life changes. My best friends are always there. I knew no matter what… I can call. I also know that we both will make an effort to keep the friendship alive since we are not in the same place. As I grow older, I realize how special my real friendships are. They are harder to develop as we grow older. Too many wall or defenses are in place, time becomes precious and our children’s friendships take over.
Zach had a friend over (the 3 kids we were caring for) whom he loves. He always says the Jake is his BF. Well on day 2, Max said something along the lines of “Jake, who is your BF?” Jake replies, ” You are.” Zach is my 6th BF.
Zachary’s heart was broken. The tears…(of course the tiredness of the day added)… he was so hurt. He has grown up with his brothers having best buddies. Now his best buddy was someone else’s.
What do you do when someone is says your their best friend and that isn’t your feelings? Only no good, hurt comes from those situations. I am trying to teach the boys that you can have a buddy that is liked very much, but people change. Friendships change. If you have more than one extra special friend, you are blessed. As you get older, friendships and the definition changes.
I have a lot of friends. Some I hang out with alot. Some I chat on the phone and others I email. Some friends I chat with evey once in a while. We get caught up and know we will talk at some point. There are friends that are couple friends, there are friends that are family friends. There are friends that come through in the most amazing way and make you realize that this IS a friendship, just a different kind.
I think as you grow older sometimes the definition of friendships change. Some friendships feed your soul. But I also think that God places some friends for me to nourish or feed. A balance is the keep in those relationships.
Sanj, is my best friend, in every sense of the word. He is there to see all of it, the good, bad and ugly. He loves me through it all. He listens to my heart and is my friend 24/7. I love that I have a friend all the time. (Of course I know I could call my friends too… but you know what I mean…).
I hope that my sons make and maintain friendships that stand the test of time. I never lived anywhere long enough to have a childhood friend. I hope that the boys learn the importance of friendship and how to be a good friend. I hope that they are friends with each other… I know all may not click with every one, but as long as they each have a brother they are close to, that would be awesome.
I am thankful for all my friends. I have become a richer person thanks to each my friends touching my life. I may not have started off with many great friends, but with each passing year, my list of friends continues to grow. I am blessed. I am so thankful. Thanks for being one of my special gifts in life. You are loved and treasured.