Obedience…

It’s midweek… and it’s harder and harder to get the troopers up and at ’em.

Mommy, I feel sick” interpreted “Mommy, I’m tired and don’t want to get up.”  Sigh.  It’s grey outside and I too, want to just bury my head under my covers and hit snooze.  My kids seem to dislike school.  Especially my younger ones.  Josh complains about what a long day school is.  He is a home body.  I really do feel for him.  It must really stink to do “work” 8 long hours a day, especially when you just want to play.  I wish my boys liked school.  It would make life a lot easier.  Usually in January, the boys have a PA day but not this year… so January seems longer.  Maybe what we need is a vacation!

I’m in the midst of planning the second annual Indian dinner with my Indian posse.  This is to raise funds for technological advancements at our school.  Tick Tock… the clock is ticking and the dinner is just around the corner! Yikes!  Last year was a huge success.  I hope that this year follows suit.

I just booked my spot in my second writer’s retreat for March.  I’m so looking forward to it.  I didn’t like the staying by myself in a hotel bit (as I am a scaredy cat) but I learned so much.  I’m looking forward to getting back into writing.  It seemed that so much got in the way after my last retreat.  Mainly, Max being sick.  How is he?  Surprisingly, much better.  He has stopped throwing up after each meal or after a drink.   Now it is just an occasional thing… which is so much better than throwing up after every meal!  Thank you for all your prayers.  I think that this is an idiopathic thing and something he’ll just end up outgrowing.

This week Sammy asked me if he could try out for the Red Bull Crash Ice.  Hum… if you know what it is about you’d likely think, “How crazy!”  He thought the try out age was 16 years old.  I said, “Sure.”  I mean  the boy is a crazy good hockey player.  He skates better than he walks.  Why not?  I asked him, “What if you get hurt?”  I loved his answer… “Than I get hurt.”  As we planned to go to TO where the try outs were being held, I felt so proud of him for being brave and going after what he wants.  This particular goal will have to wait till he is apparently 18 years old, as we found out after double checking.

It made me think of all those kids that stand in line, as American Idol hopefuls.  Everyone has a dream… and it just takes one chance, with skill and a little luck, for someone’s dream to come true.  Go Sammy Go.

Lately as I try to get back into my everyday groove, something I’ve found hard to do since returning from India, I can’t stop thinking of things I saw on the other side of the world.   My boys were sure I was going to pack a baby girl in my suitcase and bring her home.  It didn’t happen exactly that way… but once I got home and started working on my India:  To Do list… I couldn’t get that little girl out of my mind.  As I called and found out details to have her sent to one of the REACH INTERNATIONAL schools, where she would be feed, clothed and get attention for any health issues, I couldn’t imagine one of my boys going to a school as an orphan.  I felt the need to at least check into adoption.  Sanj’s answer was, “Check it out.”  Have I said how much I love this man?!!

I had mixed feelings.  One, I feel like I’ve closed that door on having a daughter.  I’ve put all those emotions on a shelf, dealt with them as much as I can and shut that door.  Lock it.  Hidden the key.  So… understandable, I had a lot of trepidation to even open that door.  I tried to rein in my overactive imagination of packing a suitcase to bring with me of girl clothes, of maybe getting an American Girl Doll that looked like her (I don’t even know her name)… of her holding that doll as we embarked on our adventure together of coming home.  I thought of taking Zachary with me, as he is close to her age and a friendly chap.  Sammy, already begged to go with me.  I imaged giving her a good bath.  With bubbles.  I imagined even turning my office into a bedroom.  I imagined what it would feel like to hold her hand.  I wondered if we would connect immediately or if it would be a slower process.  I imagined…

And yet I also knew it would be a rough road, a long road.  As the call was made… my heart started pounding.   I am not a patient person.  I waited.  When the phone rang, I felt myself deaden a bit… (is that even a phrase)?  Then I heard no.  The pastor and family plan on adopting her.  She has just turned 6.  They will educate her.  They want her.

I’m glad.  Really I am.  At least she is lucky.   She is wanted.  She will hopefully be loved.  She will hopefully have a life that isn’t filled with fear and loneliness.  She will have a life.

I have six boys that fill my world with craziness.  I have things that I need to accomplish.  I have my India: To Do list.  I have my regular TO DO list.  I have a lot going on.

Why God?  Why did I feel You asking me to even go there?  As I asked that, I heard “Obedience.”  Is that weird?  Sure I could have imagined that.  Yet I think I was being asked to obey.  Lucky for Sammy, at least it wasn’t like Abraham! lol

I’m shutting that door again.  Maybe this time I’ll throw away the key.

My next post will be about my India: To Do List.  Check it out.  Maybe you may be interested in some of the projects.

xoxo

This entry was posted in Boys, choices, faith, Family, General, God and I, love, Marriage, moments, motherhood, Parenting, Reema Sukumaran, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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