Mirror Mirror

Every since I was little…I have had issues with my looks. I remember looking at the mirror wondering WHO was going to love this face. I had thick glasses and horrid buck teeth. When you add uncool clothes and hair it did not add up to much I liked.

Then in university things changed a bit. Glasses were replaced by contacts, the hair grew out and was permed (LOL), and I had more control of what clothes I wore. I was a skinny thing, too skinny. Yet still I had major body issues.

I found a picture of me in a swim suit in my 20s. What my issues were, I don’ t know. Boy I wish I had that now.

Here I am in my late 30s and I continue to have issue. Someone mentioned that I should put more pictures of myself up on the blog. Erk. I hate how I look in pictures. I can’t help but tear it apart. Somehow I look so different in my head.

How can I teach my children to embrace themselves… love themselves and be proud when I am not practicing that myself? I know that I have only myself to blame. Food … it is my blankey. Exercise is my dreaded enemy. I look at people and see them walking around with my body. How did that happen? I don’t want to be one of those people that “look great for having 6 kids.” Um that isn’t really a compliment.

So I am determined as I hit the big 40 to embrace all that I am. Love me. Appreciate my body for all it does. And quit whining about my issues. Do something or shout up!

So you will see that I am adding more pictures of me as is. It is hard to see myself aging. Guess I don’t like that part of life.
I still feel like 20 something so often.

So turning 40 is about me. Loving me. Continuing to grow in all the hard ways. Try to change that which I hate… mornings, body image, and laundry.

One thing that I did this summer that was huge for me was put a swim suit on. (Lord have mercy)! But I did it (really because Sanj wasnt here… and if I didn’t want my kids to drown, it was all me). I put the swimsuit on and was with people I knew. It was the hardest thing I did in a long time.

Yet the only thing my kids noticed was that I got in the water! Neat eh? SO… this is my challenge for myself … to take better care of me.. appreciate the amazing gift of health… and focus on making myself a temple of God.

Hopefully by the time I am 50 I will blog a picture of me in a swimsuit! OK just kidding!

Maybe it should be a commandment… learn to love yourself as much as you love and accept others.

It took me 10 minutes to actually find a picture … and I picked this one only because it is a picture of how I want to be about my looks… carefree.