All Done.

I haven’t written since Easter… I miss blogging, writing and yet maybe it is just the lack of time or maybe I am just consumed with all that is my life right now… I don’t know but I miss it.  I have written many post since then but never published it.  I guess there are so many things I wanted to post and so I kept waiting till I could do so.

Oh well, that may never happen, the getting caught up. If it does here are some things I want to write about…

– My trip with my brother, Rajiv to England and India…  Such an incredible time!

-Working

-Our new Pup

-My boys and where we are today.

-My first prom

Oh well, one of the things that happened while in India was revisiting the idea of adopting  while there.  My brother said he’d help us to see this through as it is over $20,000 to do this.  I find myself excited as we visited a home of children in India.  I was amazed at the happiness these children have with each other and the simpleness of life.

Upon my return, I began to look into what we would need to do.  Of course the first emotion past excitement was overwhelmingness. Sigh.  I have such a need for immediate gratifation.  A huge fault of mine. 🙁

I was always contempating if this is really what I/we want now at this point in life?  We have six boys, two sitting on the edge of taking the leap of leaving home in the next two years.  My youngest is 8 years old.  Yes, he acts much younger and is the true youngest of the family, yet he is still 8 years old and out of that stages of total dependence.

I also have earlier this year started working.  I love my job.  I have found such fulfillment in doing what I do.  I am so eager to see it grow and become a success.

I am 45 years old this September.  I’m closer to 50 than I am not… at least in my heart.  Do I want a little girl?  YES!!!  Yet as I searched deep into my heart, there was such a conflict.

Then Monday night I kept my brother’s 2 children for the night.  A boy age 4 and his sister age 3… Yes, it was fun.  We all survived the night of being away from their mama and dada and then morning came.

I had 8 children to get out the door by 8 am. Wow!

I forgot…

Diapers, wipes, change of clothes, car seats, strollers, bottles, buckling carseats … WOW!

I had forgotten.

We did it.  We left by 8 am ish.  The babes didn’t get bathed.  Clean diapers, still in PJs, they were buckled up and we were off.

We had a great time.

There is nothing like the scent of a little one.

As I drove to work, I called Sanj on my hands-free.

” I think we are done.  Done with babies.  Done with adoption. Done with it all.”

He was quiet.  Then I heard him say, “I think so too.”

LOL

OMG

WOW

Sigh.

I’m a mom of six crazy, wonderful boys whom I adore and get irritated on an hourly bases.  I have hockey sticks, socks, messes all over.  I have stinky armpits after games around me.  I have girls calling over. I overhear the craziest of conversations and find myself giggling at the chatter.  I have protective men in the making over me and that love and adore me, most of the time.

I am done. We are done.  We are a family of 8. Blessed. Beyond.