Soon and Very Soon…

Growing up, in high school, our school had what they called Youth Rally.  (This was actually more during my brothers time)… it was a weekend for youth, speakers, singing and activities just for youth.  It was usually a time to meet Jesus and find yourself filled with the Holy Spirit and wishing for Jesus to come, NOW.

The boys have their own version of this, called SERVE.  This year our town (our church along with another church is hosting it).  Serve is a week where other youth come and SERVE in our city.  Painting, building, working in shelters and food banks etc.  There are then activities, beach day etc and then the evening is worship.  Worship for just youth… done by youth for youth.

I would love to be part of this but I have never gone because I want my boys to have that unique experience and know that this isn’t totally possible with their mama. This time, here at home, all three of my older boys have been active in it.  They haven’t been home all week.  They have come home (when they come home) exhausted and yet I can see they have had a great time.

Sammy told me, “If you want to see SERVE, you should come to the service tomorrow night.”  So we went.

Not much has changed from my teens.  I loved the speaker, the songs… the true praise that happened as they sang their hearts out to Jesus.  I couldn’t help but wonder why we can’t have this every weekend.

The theme was Just Be… and then there was open mic.

We were there till midnight.  Josh on Sanj and my lap, sprawled out, snoring.  Zach was sitting with his friends, front row.  Max and Tyler in the back row… Sammy and Jordan with their friends…

I have to tell you I left with a pounding headache- a huge one.  Not much has changed since I was in high school.  Kids are hurting in such a big way.  Bullying is such a issue.  Loneliness is huge.  Not being one of the in crowd… yup, still happening, that hurt.  Then there was the tears … the huge ones… of homes and families hurting… of parents failing and leaving this poor babes heartbroken.  HEARTBROKEN.

It broke my heart.  I wanted to release my inner pain for these babes and let go and cry the ugly cry.  I wanted to follow these babes out and hold them.  Just hold them.  Maybe even bring them home.

I wanted to reassure them that I get it.  I understood that pain from needing the grown ups to be all you need and not getting that.  I understood wanting to be a daughter … just a daughter… and not have to step up and play adult so many times.  I wanted to promise them that God is there  and yet at so many stages I didn’t always feel Him there.  I wanted to promise them that He is LISTENING.  He is hurting with them.  He IS…

I watched as a few of them ran out of the room, sharing and then broken.  My head hurt.  My heart heart.  And yet, I can say that just from my own life, God is so faithful.   He may say Wait… and waiting is hard.  Yet …. He is so real.  He is our Father.

I sat there with Josh snoring, watching so many eyes wet, wondering how Jesus handles all this.  I wonder how it must hurt Him to see and feel all this hurt.

And yet, the last songs, these hurt babes sang with their hearts, hands outstretched … and I hope left with the knowledge that soon and very soon… We will be going Home.

I can’t wait.

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