I have to admit, I really struggle to get up for church. I am so tired. And it’s another day to nag the crew to get up and get ready. Usually though, once I am there and the singing begins, the blessings start to pour on me. I love feeling blessed and love feeling the Spirit fill me. I wish I could carry that with me all the time. Yet at some point, I am yelling at someone or engrossed in a project and life takes over. I am forever talking to God during the day but that special feeling of being in God’s presence, I’ll admit seems to often escape me.
I hear this or read this, probably on Facebook, I’ll admit- “There is nothing I can do to stop God from loving me.” I wish I could say who wrote it but… regardless, it left quite an impression on me. I feel so disappointed in myself so many times a day. I hate when I am short with my kids ( I really HATE when I do this yet they just know how to push my buttons…), I hate when I am moody with Sanj. I hate when I let others affect me. I hate when jealousy takes over. I wish, really wish I would be that person I know God wants me to be, that with Him I am capable of being. And yet, when I am berating myself, this quote rings loud through me. There is nothing I can do to stop God from loving me.
I remember being younger and my dad was a stickler for family worship. He preached so much about not letting Satan live in our hearts. He preached the fear of hell in me. I felt like every little sin was going to send me to hell. I felt like if I didn’t ask for forgiveness for each sin, I’d land in hell and burn and burn. I remember thinking my going to hell was easier.
I am so glad that there is nothing I can do to stop God from loving me. I do try hard. I do feel guilt still, like will hell be the path I am going to be called to take? Sometimes it’s hard to shake those childhood lessons that were drilled in us over and over.
There’s hope. Jesus loves me. He died for me. There is nothing I can do to stop Jesus from loving me. I just need to live the best life I can, with His help.
*** Googling hellfire was actually frightening!