Did You Know That I am SO 2-Faced?

Yesterday was a day I was in teen hell.  It only takes one over wrought, irrational, overflowing with crazy hormones to feel like the world, or his parents, for that matter that, has ganged up on him.   Life is so hard.  Do you think it’s harder for teens now verses back in the 80s?

Photo on 6-12-14 at 2.00 PMSo here’s the line that was screamed at me during one of the shouting matches…  “You are so 2-faced.  If Aunty Christine was here, bet you wouldn’t act like this… you’d be all nice.”

Darn right! Aunty Christine or most of my other ADULT friends don’t drive me to the brinks of insanity and back.

Sometimes during these “episodes” I feel like I am a lot younger than my true age.  And sometimes I feel a lot older. 🙁

I know every one has different sides to them.  I am so 2-faced.  I mean I could be ranting at my children and then someone comes to the truck window and immediately I HAVE to change me face, right?  I have to paste a smile and chatter… or otherwise I would have to share the woes that are overwhelming me at that moment.

OK… so here’s the thing… I am 2-faced.  I have my happy, life is fine face.  And usually if I am really in this mode… you’ll feel my vibes.  I’m not a very subtle person.  My emotions are usually all over my face.  If I am not happy, you will know.  I may choose to share my thoughts or maybe not.  Yet you will know that I am not happy or sad or frustrated or…

I love my boys so much.  I love them so much sometimes it actually hurts, that love I feel for them.  I hate saying no to them… as was the case in this episode.  I really want to give them the world.  I feel like Sanj and I do a good job for loving them and meeting their needs  The boys will even say they are spoiled.  So when there is a NO- there’s a good
reason.

When you continue to question me, I am going to lose it.  I do get ugly.  I do yell.  I have even screamed.  It’s not pleasant.  I hate when I get that worked up.  And yet sometimes, due to the fact that I am human- gasp-  I lose it.  I have a  very ugly side.  I hate that my boys see that side at times.

To my sons,

I am a 2-faced person.  I agree.  And I am sorry.  I try hard to be  what I expect from you but  I know I fall short.  Please forgive me.  The reality is I adore you.  You are part of my heart.  You have such power to break it.  I wish I could treat you like I do others outside our home all the time. Never doubt my love or my craziness.  Sadly for you, it’s all often intertwined.

Mom

This entry was posted in Boys, choices, crazy pill, Family, General, God and I, moments, motherhood, Parenting, Reema Sukumaran. Bookmark the permalink.

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