I’m feeling a little overwrought right now.  I don’t think I have ever used that word-  overwrought.  Today Sanj left for Minneapolis for some conference.  I feel bad because I know he wasn’t feeling a 100% when he left.  I guess it’s the annoying back to school germs hitting us.  One by one we seem to be getting it.  I’m overwrought because of  a banking issue.  Why do these things seem  to happen when Sanj is away?  Sigh.  Anyway this too shall pass- and ultimately I will somehow be at fault because it seems in my case, the bank is never wrong!!!

Usually when Sanj leaves, I cut myself some slack.  What this means is, most days, I really try to have a meal prepared for my men and the house somewhat tidy upon first  glance.  Sanj really appreciates walking into to a controlled environment verses chaos.  I suppose any body would.  Today, I’m vegging with Max, who’s home sick, with a pile of laundry, trying to find something decent to watch but… nothing is showing up.  I may order pizza or feed the kids a meatless meal… which for me is very easy… especially since I hate cutting meat.

Anyway, here’s the point I was wanting to make… an epiphany of sorts… I hate that our house is constantly in a state of lived-in-ness.  It’s not like some people’s houses that are perfect, show pieces.  Our family room has so many shoes.  There’s usually sweatshirts or backpacks tossed and some sort of snack wrapper stuffed in the corner.  I get tired of nagging and so after a while I stop.

Our kitchen is beautiful when it is spotless.  We recently had it done the IKEA way and I am so happy to be cooking a place that feels good.  Then within minutes of it being cleaned, it get’s that lived-in look.  The boys are pretty good about cleaning up, especially at night, as I really do get ugly, if I cleaned the kitchen and see dishes after the fact.  Yet here’s the thing… maybe I am a little OCD in some senses… despite the dishes being done, I hate that they will leave remnants in the sink.  Or some crumbs on the counter.  Or not seal the bread properly.


You know what I mean?

Today I realized after hanging up with a girlfriend, who is OCD that’s house does look like a showpiece… it’s because we DO live IN OUR HOUSE!!!  Our house is a showpiece… of lived-in-ness!!!  My kitchen is a mess because it is used all the time.  I love cooking for my men folk.  Cooking isn’t always a mess-free thing.  Snacking that happens here is 24/7 can be a mess in the prospect.  Life isn’t a mess free thing.

Maybe I am just writing this to feel better, as I hate cleaning.  Yet the epiphany is that houses that are lived in aren’t going to be perfect show rooms.  (Well, with the exception of a few people I know… but it’s ok because I do love you).

This doesn’t mean I won’t keep trying or that if I won a huge lotto… I’d have a sweet OCD housekeeping, laundry, cleaning up my kitchen person move in!!!

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