It been a hard past year for me. No secret. I have finally been seeing a psychologist who was referred to me by a friend and I have to say that God had a hand in this!!! She is good. She’s a Christian. She makes me feel like I am going to tackle this BIG THING and going to come out the other side able to be me again. Me without the BIG THING weighing me down.
I have learned that I am emotionally too generous. Wow. When it was said, I felt like someone just painted a portrait of me, perfectly. I learned that everyone has their own yard and weeds… I’m a very visual person, so this analogy is perfect for me. I have been so busy allowing others weeds to grow into my yard. I have set no barriers such as fence or hedges etc to protect my yard. The reality is that my yard is a pretty big yard. (My yard has has to accommodate my family of 6 boys and my hubby).
Sigh. I’ve realized that there’s so much I do because I don’t want to hurt anyone. Duty. Obligation. Guilt. Oye. I’ve got to learn to listen to my heart. I have to learn to give myself permission to listen to me- and set boundaries. Boundaries. Yup! So I feel like I’m going to school, learning how to set limits and boundaries that can only make me happier and emotionally healthier.
There are so many weeds in my garden. They are stifling my yard and not allowing my grass to grow thick, healthy greens. The problem is setting boundaries. It’s one thing to hear problems of others but feeling the need to fix it or feeling their burden to heavily is not healthy. Sigh.
I realized that sometimes weeds look to beautiful that I forget that they are weeds suffocating things of beauty that I am missing out in.
I am constantly wishing for a huge lotto win, not just to make my life easier but so many others. This life is so hard. This life can be so exhausting. And yet there is so much beauty that can be missed out with all the weeds filtering in … that I missing seeing the beautiful gardens in my yard.
Sometimes I see others tending to their yard… there are not of weeds, there are just beautiful trees, bushes, gorgeous flower beds and lush green grass. Sometimes there are pools or benches or a treehouse. Sometimes there are a few that adjoining yards but each yard is still very distinct and weed free especially at the borders of each property. How do people do that? How do they keep their yards so weed free?
So, I’m on a journey to begin landscaping my yard. I hate yard work. That’s not an analogy… the reality is yard work is something I’m allergic too. Sanj tackles it or I’d hire someone. The irony is that now I’m seeing someone to help me weed my garden and set up nice boundaries. The reality of the comparison isn’t lost on me. SMH.
I want to learn to be me… but emotionally healthy. I want to invite friends for ice tea, well in reality, I’d prefer lemonade, in my yard without having to pull out weeds after a visit. I am quite eager to learn how.
Can you relate to any of this? Or do you keep your yard nice and neat?