If you are happy and you know it…

Is ones attitude a personality thing? Do some people just have a “woe is me” personality?

I am beginning to think so. Sanj and I are very much opposites, as I have said many times. I am a glass half full most of the time and he would wonder why his glass was half empty. Yet it works for both of us in our own way.

Sanj’s attitude towards life pushes him to constantly seek out the things in life that he wants for himself and his family. He works like a dog, plays like a boy and loves with all his heart. Yet he has a very small select few people he likes and an even smaller few that he loves.

Part of this is he is constantly seeking the definition of love. “How do you know you love your dad?” is a question he asks.

Well, I am a person who simply loves. The definition is not as important as what I feel in my heart… in the deepest place… it is just a given. I know if I love you. I don’t have to know you for years. I just have to know that in my heart you feed me or maybe I need to feed you. That is good enough for me.

I usually love until I am hurt, then I will question the relationship. And yet as with my dad… I am and have been hurt yet that love is there. It is just there… as I breathe.

“Love makes the world go round.” If there isn’t love, what do you really have? Money? What good is money when you have no one to share it with? (well I suppose it can be a good companion if you have to be alone)! 🙂

It is the one thing that people yearn for. Even if they find it in an animal … their pet… it is something.

So it does disturb me that Sanj is so analytical about things. He says “HE KNOWS” he loves me. Yet how does he really know?

Back to the orignal question… personality. I would say you are born with the disposition you have.

Each of my boys have such different personalities. You have read that Zachary is my child with a sunny happy life is great attitude.

Then take Jordan… despite whatever the circumstance… he is more “life is hard… woe is me.” He reminds me of my mother-in-law and her out look on life. I suppose he is alot like Sanj. And since he does not have a different life than his brothers in reality… it must be his personality to be like an Eeyore.

Good or bad? I guess there isn’t a real answer. Sanj was saying to me that “when I met you (in university) you were happy. You really didn’t have a lot to be happy about up until then.”

And yet to me, it is perception… I felt I had a lot to be happy about. I was free. I was blossoming and learn to spread my wings. I was exhaling! I had survived.

So can everyone be happy? Is it a choice? Or is it just part of your mechanics that some people will spend their life with dissatisfaction being part of their equation?