It is funny how something as simple as laundry is a breaking point for me.
I am working towards the older boys doing their own laundry… yet somehow stuff still sneaks in.
Yesterday Sanj and boys cleaned the basement. Armfuls of stuff with no home came into the laundry room. (HUM….)
My heart is actually racing as I type this out. I guess the thing is I don’t want to “stay at home” and do laundry.
I don’t mind on a rainy day… actually I quite like it.
But the sun is shining… I think the reality is I associate laundry with darkness.
After Josh, I had a meltdown of sorts. While I was sorting out my issues, I realized that mountain of laundry set me off.
Baskets of washed and folded laundry still had to be sorted and put away before it was dug into and needed refolding.
Some of you understand this image… yes the boys help, yes they can put their clothes away… etc.. but still the responsibility is ultimately mine.
One day, as the boys were heading out the door… I looked around at the chaos around me as the boys were leaving for school … I lost it. You know that kind of crazy that would have put you in an asylum back in the day?
I screamed, “LOOK AT THIS PLACE!!!” THERE ARE CLOTHES EVERYWHERE…. WHO IS GOING TO CLEAN IT ALL UP???”
It was actually an ugly moment. I ranted like a looney and broke down.
Tyler went to school and asked for pray… “My mom isn’t feel good.” Hum… if he only knew! Postpartum is an ugly thing. Tom Cruise is an idiot.
Those of you that are natually neat or a little obsessive may never experience this… but our house is always in a state of lived in mess despite the threats, punishment and beating! 🙂
Sanj and I are obsessive to some degree with certain areas of our lives… yet not all. My kids are like this too. It is easier to pile a bunch of clothes on the chair in my room then hang them up. Why? Dunno. Too tired? Too lazy? Dunno. Yet when that pile accumulates after a few days.. I get mad. I am annoyed. I get down right _itchy!
What is it about that inability to do things immediately?
Yet there are areas of life that I like it just so. For Sanj, it is his truck. Ooohhh don’t mess with the man and his love. For me, my computer is MINE. Please leave it alone. My bathroom… I would really like to padlock it from toilet seat offenders.
So the laundry builds. It is a part of my reality. I need to get over it. I am working on breathing…. then getting up from the position of being paralyzed with angst and making my feel move to that room… one load… then breath. Hum… reminds me of labour. One contraction, breath, relax, owww… here comes another.
This blog is a stalling tactic, obviously. Laundry… here I come!
(Pray for the household)!!!