So here is the thing… most kids are not perfect. I’d say 99.9% of the people I know have great kids that are normal. They do things that need correcting, they can be mean, fib and do things that need parenting.
They are normal. They aren’t perfect. They are human.
Then there is the very small percentage of parents that really have perfect kids. They will tell you, their child would never lie. Their children would never be mean or hurtful. Their children are perfect.
Can I tell you my thoughts on this? I think that this is the most dangerous kind of parenting. I think it is great to be your child’s advocate. In fact, that is your role. I think it is awesome to believe in your child. That is your role as a parent.
But when you don’t give your child room to be human… you are setting them up.
How can your child come to you when they do mess up… big or small? Children like this feel an awesome responsibility of not letting their parent down. So they learn to cover up. They learn that their parent will believe in their infallibleness. It will always be someone else’s fault.
Usually this .01% of children live in a dream world. They do not know how to function in the real world.
Over the years, I have made many mistakes parenting my children. I wish I had the rule book on Perfect Parenting. Yet, what I love about my children is their ability to forgive me and give me chance after chance.
What I love about my children is that they mess up. They even try to cover up their messes. They come up with the craziest stories (lies). I think that they actually believe the stories they are making up!
Somebody is always needing me to teach them about real life.
Someone is always needing me to show them why beating each other up is probably not a good idea… here are some better ideas to try. Someone is in need of learning why procrastination isn’t the best. Someone needs to understand why name calling isn’t so nice.
Everyday there are lessons that they need to be taught. Some of these “lessons” are repeated over and over. More often then not, they don’t seem to get it.
They mess up.
(I know each of you have a story to tell like this). But this is one of my funniest memories of my sweet Max. A few houses ago, there was whitish carpet in his room. He was in JK/SK at this time. He was so proud of learning to write his name. I came in one day… and there in huge JK writing was the word Max… in black crayon.
Oh my gosh! I was not impressed, yet still kinda impressed. I call the boys into the room. “Who did this?” Quiet.
Silence. Obviously it wasn’t the right thing to do.
“Why, I was just admiring the beautiful writing.”
“I did it!” Max exclaims delighted.
Busted. Then it went from there into a lesson on how this wasn’t the best place for his art work.
If children do not learn that part of life is about making mistakes and learning from then… adulthood is going to be rough.
Isn’t it?
So… having a perfect kid is one of life’s blessings isn’t is? A perfect kid is one that learns to accept his mistakes and make things right. A perfect kids is one that is in a mode of constant learning.
Thank you, God, for my 6 perfect sons. Thank you that they know they can mess up. Thank you that they know You love them unconditional. Thank you for the laugh out moments of being mom to them.
How I love them! Thank you for the work in progress each of us are! Amen