Will You Be My Friend?

I think I am lonely today.  I am always around people yet sometimes I just miss having a real connection.
Do you know what I mean?  Everyone is so busy… I miss having those heart to hearts… I miss that time spent with someone I love that leaves me so filled.

Sigh.  Maybe it is the blues.  It is -18 ℃ + the wind = – 26℃!!!  So, yes, it could be the winter blues, after all, it is the end of January!  Most of our house is warm except the family room… the wood stove needs to be going.  I’d better get that wood before my sweet hubby comes home and wonders what I have been doing all day! lol

Lately I have been reacquainting myself with folks from high school thanks to Facebook. It is interesting to see what they have been up to and look at pictures of their family.  High school was not a period that I shined (or is it shone?).  When I went back to my class’s 20 year reunion, I was sure that I would be fine.
Yet when I was in that environment, I found I     became me again from that era.  I was shy, nervous and felt insecure.  I left there feeling very annoyed with myself!!!

Those that are in my life today would probably have a very hard time believing how shy, quiet (lol) and insecure I was.  Those from my high school days, who don’t see my life today, wouldn’t.  In high school, I felt like I was trapped in a coma.  I wanted to be outgoing, friendly and me yet was somehow trapped by this coma I was in!

Next year is my 25th year reunion!  Wow, that makes me feel so old.  I want to overcome this craziness that takes over when I enter Ohio or see Spring Valley folks.  Maybe no one is judging me… maybe I am the only one judging me… harshly!

So, this is one of the things I am going to work on!  It is funny, but when someone befriends me on Facebook… that I wasn’t really friends with in high school… I feel weird.  Instead of always fear or insecurites to take over, I am going to try and see this as a second chance.

One of my besties ( this is what today’s kid calls a best friend) and I didn’t really hang out in high school.
She would apparenly try to talk to me and I was so shy.  (I guess this was my defense to all the poop going on at home).

Is this all so weird?  Probably! Do you have any tips for me to get over my fears?

(Photo taken by Jordan Sukumaran and Photo editing done by Maxwell Sukumaran).

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Will You Be My Friend?

  1. Girngo says:

    HI DUDE! i landed by accident in your blog.
    I'm from Argentina, so please understad if i have some mistakes!
    After reading you situation, all i can tell you is that i have been through the same thing.
    In high school i was no more than a nerd who cool guys laughed at.
    Then i started to live my life, i became more confident and i grew up a stronger me… i became outgoing, sociable…
    Nowadday, after 6 years, i just try to forget everything that happened when i was such i fool, i just trust who i am now!, so i can show myself as a confident guy, with a strong personality!
    i hope oyu can do it as well!