Today I feel blue.
O.K… before I get the emails sent with love about this and that… I am on top of it. I called my doctor, my thyroid is being check tomorrow, as is my sugars etc. I am really hoping that my thyroid is off in part, simply because then maybe my thinning hair will have an “easy” fix.
I am sure a big part is the season of blues… never had it before but obviously it has attached itself to me. I am sensitive to the noise. I am very impatient. Have the boys always been so disobedient?
Josh stood there and pooped in his pants while I was making supper. Apparently he did not want to miss any part of the show he was watching. This was not a good day to pick to do that kind of foolishness.
It was also that time of the month. Yes, I know, TMI. The point is that I had cramps from out of this world. I felt like I was in labour all weekend. I keep thinking that it is time to remove that which causes it… then I make the appointment… and it seems so drastic… because I forget the pain. I can’t live like this. REMEMBER THE PAIN!!!
Sigh. So today I called my doctor. I am feeling bad. Really bad. I think I need to come in and see her. Thank you, God, for modern medicine. Thank you for my little white pill.
Little things annoyed me today. Intolerance. Phone calls. Bills. More bills. Money. The need for more money. Josh. When did he become so disobedient? How come he can never do things for himself? He tells me he can only do it at school. Ha! I actually threatened him with school today. I told him if I see wet pants or poopy ones, then he would miss school. Crazy, eh? Well, he really loves school.
Tomorrow I am going to Weight Watchers. I have 20 pounds I need/want to lose. I have tried, started and failed. I figured that I need AA but for food. So I am blogging it. Tomorrow I get weighed. You… writing to you… will hopefully keep me more accountable and hopefully keep me from failing knowing I am blogging it. (Could you please say a small prayer for me… that God could help me… I know He has a lot going on… Haiti, death, hungry folks, scared and lonely babes… but then there is me with my need … actually desperate help for fight the battle of feeding my angst.
Tomorrow I will also go get running shoes and make myself go to the gym Wed… Yup, I am blogging it.
Dear God,
I am feeling horrible. I feel tired. I am grumpy. I am feeling blue.
Could you please help me find my happy place again?
I appreciate all that I have… I really do. I just want to stop wanting to run (well not run literally… haha) but escape. I do love and like my life. I want to feel that satisfaction that I know is in my soul. Could you please help me? Please?
Amen.
Thanks for being vulnerable, yet again….Your openness touches many lives. We realize that we are NOT the only ones feeling this way, we are NOT crazy (or at least, equally as crazy as everyone else 🙂 )
I hope that today is better for you!