So Sad!

I haven’t written in many days.  I start to and then just stop.  I haven’t the words to say what is on my heart. I don’t want to sound preachy yet I can only be honest of my thoughts.  So… I can’t stop thinking of Jesus’ coming.

My brother, Kumar, is in Haiti.  He left Wednesday for a week to help drill wells at one of the orphanages and see what else they could do.  I have been following the  work their blog.  I feel so much pain in my heart.  I can’t stop thinking of the sadness and pain.  He wrote my mom saying, “It is all so sad.”

“This girl’s name is Evangelista. Her mother died in the earthquake. Our medical people believe she has thyroid cancer that has metasticized . We took her to Port au Prince and was turned away because they are not to equipped to help.” (Taken from Kumar’s Facebook page).

I can’t stop thinking about her.  Let’s just process the fact that her mother just died.  How does she cope with the pain, sadness and fear?  Then take the cancer… does it hurt?  What is going to happen to her?

We live such a different life.  I am hunger so I go to my fridge and grab a snack.  I also know that I will be complaining about what to make for supper in a bit.  I will not be worrying about filling the bellies of my babes.  Yet, just on the other side of the world, are moms worried and sad as they listen to their babes cries for hunger.

I feel like screaming.  I feel the helplessness of not knowing how to make it all better.  I hate that all we can do doesn’t change the fact that there are so many hunger and sick.  There are so many children… like my babes that I adore,  that will not have a meal, that are missing their parent that died… that are alone, sad and scared.

As I think of heaven and God, as I get so frustrated and sad… I have to hold on to the faith that there is a heaven and a God who is in control and will come down and take us to a better place.  I have to believe.  I have to have faith. 

I am not sure what will happen to this sweet little girl.  I can only pray that God holds her so tight and she feels the love of God and finds courage and strength to deal with each day as it comes.

Dear Jesus…
I can only be grateful for all we have.  I can only be shamed when I complain of the little stresses in life as children, people, on the other side, worry about food, shelter and feel pain of loss so huge I can’t even put into words.

This little girl has grabbed my heart.  Oh dear God, please…. show them how to help her.  Please.

And if it is OK… please just come, now.

This entry was posted in love. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to So Sad!

  1. Sandy says:


    Your heart sounds so heavy. I cried with you. I often find myself re-evaluating my own trials and realize how blessed I have been.

    God is there… I promise… He knows, He cares, and He weeps for His children.

    I have found comfort in knowing my job here on earth is not to live an easy life… with that there would be no growth. I am here to become better today than I was yesterday. Adversity happens so God can see and judge what we are made of. How we choose to handle it. It is there so that we can pray for each other and lift each other up, comfort, and dry each others tears.

    I know He heard your prayer. Whether He answers by healing the little girl… or by taking her home to be with her mother… it will be an answer that is best for her. Let us not stop praying for her and all the others who need God's Grace, Love and Comfort in these times of great need.

    I too am looking for Jesus to return. I hope it is soon.