There’s a Party Going On Over Here…

Today I am feeling sorry for myself.  I usually don’t give into the pity party even when I feel a need for it. Yet today, I am grumpy.  I am feeling sorry for myself for pathetic reasons.  I even know they are pathetic.  

– Today I wanted to wake up in a different bed.  I hate our bed.  I felt unrested and grumpy.

-Sanj came in, mad that the dogs got into the garbage.  Even though I know he had reason, it made me more grumpy to hear him grumpy.

– Nobody wanted breakfast that consisted of cereal.  I didn’t blame them but I didn’t really want to make it either.  Sanj was studying.  So I made cheese omelettes.  That soon turned to special requests… omelettes with onions, red peppers, meat, cheese…  I was feeling grumpy that I was chef to everyone.

-I had hockey banquet duty for Zachary.  Max had a skate with his friends/team.  That was fine.  I was grumpy at the disorganization that was at the hockey banquet… but it was bearable.

– We went to Blockbusters to return movies, get some new ones and some games.  Why was the worker a true _itch?  We did nothing to her.  She had a serious attitude.  The boys looked at me and said, “She’s grumpy.”  I was really angry at her treatment.  A man came in and she was pleasant to him.  The boys said, “She can be nice.”  Her treatment was rude, obnoxious and uncalled for.  Yes, I will complain.

-That made me grumpier.  Then I had to come home and deal with lunch demands.  I left all of them (except Josh, who really does help himself) to fend for themselves.

-I did some laundry.  That made me grumpy.

– THEN it was supper time.  I hate cooking all three meals.  I hate it.  Maybe it is because everyone else is relaxing and I resent being the domesticated goddess while they are all vegging out.  Not nice, I know.  But the reality at the moment.  Then Josh spills or throws (not sure) his sloppy joe all over.  Sigh.  I count backwards.

Pathetic, isn’t it?  I know.  I have a lot of emotions that have been running through my head this week.  Some of that emotion was disappointment, some sad and others unsettling.  Most of it, out of my hands.  I needed a good cry.  Yet once again, my tears are constipated.  Maybe none of it is really worthy of my time to cry over.

Anyway, today I was having a pity party.

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5 Responses to There’s a Party Going On Over Here…

  1. Anonymous says:

    I feel your pain Reema….there are so many times in one day alone when I just want to sit in a corner and cry. However even the opportunity to ponder my sorrow, let alone cry is a luxury…and so I just stiffel my emotions, pick myself up and most importantly pray for strength to keep going.

    Sometimes I wonder when will I even get an opportunity to breath. Then i'm reminded of the hymn, "It is Well" and what the author of the song was going thru when he penned the words! Then I'm also reminded of Paul & Silas who were praising God in prison!

    My family is going thru a major crisis and each day is filled with uncertianty…. But then i'm quickly reminded of the certianty we have in Jesus! I'm grateful that this world is nor my home….I pray that the Lord will come soon!!!

  2. Anonymous says:

    I forgot to add, please keep us in your prayers as I will do the same for you. Thanks for sharing, it's always a joy to read your blog because they are genuine and truly from the heart!

  3. Reema Sukumaran says:

    Dear Anonymous,
    You were already in my prayers. Thanks for writing. I felt kind of petty as I read your thoughts. I was just whining about cooking and cleaning that particular day.

    I am sorry for the crisis your family is going through. I know that uncertainty is the hardest part of it sometimes.

    I am sending you a hug and will be praying for strength for you as you deal with all that is upon you.


  4. Anonymous says:

    I'm sitting in a dark corner of a room while my dear husband is feeding the kids. Your reply broke me down and I couldn't help but cry in my little dark corner for the few moments that I have. Thank you for your prayers because that's all we have, eh!

    You know what, it's not petty…because it's not about the laundry, cleaning, etc….all of that is the superficial stuff that we mope about when in fact it stems so much deeper than the mountains of laundry or dirty dishes. I wish life were that simple; laundry, dishes, etc. We're all hurting and it stems from decades of pain and anguish that only the Lord knows. Thank you again for your prayers!

  5. Reema Sukumaran says:

    I don't know what to say. But you have some blessings, a wonderful husband, loved children… and your faith. I wish I could give you a real hug.

    Today a lady I know was in having surgery for breast cancer. Her daughter is the same age as my second. She is a mom of 4 teenagers…. she lost a sister to cancer and lost a daughter at the age of 3 to tuberculous. I haven't stopped thinking of her.

    I really believe that God only gives us burdens He knows we can handle. You have God ready to carry you through this burden. You are stronger than you think. I know that it sucks to have God believe in you so much, eh? lol

    So my friend, hold tight to those you love. Hold tight to your faith. God is right there. Let Him carry you through.