Boys to Men…

I remember my babes as little ones.  It was so easy.  I love babies and I find them so easy and loved them.


Now days, I am hearing, with regularity, “Daddy, can I borrow you shirt?” (Followed by Sanj sighing)! lol

I keep looking at Sammy, who will be 15 years old in just a few weeks.  He is a young man!!!  Shoulders have broaden, his jaw line seems more masculine, there seems to be hair everywhere and he sounds like a big person.  Where did my little man go?


In 5 years, as I anticipate Josh not pooping or peeing in his pants at the age of 10, I am faced with the reality that Sammy, my little firstborn, will be 20 years old!!!


I have been feeling time whizzing by me.  I miss buying him the cutest little outfits.  Now, I have to pay big boy prices for outfits I am not even allowed to pick!  He keeps picking stuff that I want to say, “Ew!” because I remember wearing that stuff in the 80s. lol


Sammy, my teenager, who has really given us a run for our money already, has been much better lately.  Maybe all the crazy hormones are realizing that we really are on the same page. May this is another calm before the next storm.  Whatever the case, I love this kid of mine.  I love that he is more able to say sorry now after he goes crazy.  I love that, as annoying as it is to my not a night person hubby, that my 14 year old still leaps into our bed and takes up all the blankets and asks if he can sleep with us?

I love that I walk into the office and see this beautiful picture of my oldest and youngest, all cuddled up watching a movie (even though it is a movie I am sure Sammy, at 5, would never have watched!).


I am watching this little man, who taught me to love with all my being, is growing into a great man that I am so proud to call my oldest.  I love that he doesn’t take life too seriously.  I love that he has a kind heart.  I love that he is full of play and just loves people.  I love his ability to spend money endlessly (guess where he got that from???)  I love that he is so much of me in him.  I wish that being like me was a little easier for him.  I wish that being out of the box wasn’t so hard when you are 15 and trying to work in a world that seems to only think boxes are the way.

Yet, I can’t wait to see the amazingness that I get glimpses of … that he is going to burst and just shine when he figures how to be a circle in a world of squares.  I know that God has great things for him.  


He is on the cusp of manhood.  I hope that life is kind to him.  I hope that he doesn’t have his heart broken too many times or to hard.  I hope that life is awesome for him.  I hope that he is gentle on himself as he grows and has to figure it all out.


I love his kid of mine.  I am still trying to figure out how I am a mom to an almost 15 year old… when I remember when I was 15!


I love you, Sammy!