Here is a story:
I have “family” who I grew up with. My “aunt and uncle” are in there 70s now. Their marriage has been one much like my parents. There was violence. She is a battered woman. In there 70s, he still hits her. He beat her. He pulled her hair and wound it around his arm and dragged her. Then he choked her. This time she called the police. They came and put him in jail for 2 days. Then they let him go. Now he reminds her that she put him in jail. She is scared for her life. Yet the money seems to hold her hostage. The son, lives and breathes daddy’s money. She will likely die or rather be killed.,, unless she is saved.
I wonder what the police think will happen when they release him? Yes, we have come a long ways… now the police can step in at signs of abuse. Yet, we still have a long way to go. I know that if we are waiting for my “aunt” to leave or walk away, it isn’t going to happen. I know that she needs her son to take a stand against his daddy, Mr. Bank, and be a man. She won’t leave. She can’t leave. She is too weak. She is too broken. Yet she is crying out for help. She called the police. That is a huge move. That took a lot of courage. She went to the pastor. She told him she want to move into a nursing home. That is huge. Who wants to move into a nursing home? She is screaming for help. She can’t move without money.
I feel like screaming. Is there a special hell for men like him? Can I tell you that I hope so?
He is a bad man. He is loving. He is sweet. He is the devil. I cringe when I think of all the times we were together, a happy “family.”
My upbringing is pretty much American. Sure, I prefer Indian cuisine to any other out there. Sure, I can eat with my hands, with the best of them. I can even wear the beautiful outfits and pick up a word or two. That is the extent of my Indian-ness.
I have been reading a lot of stories about India. I have been trying to understand the craziness of the male species. I can’t understand the mentality that would kill or give up a child simply based on the sex of the babe. I can’t understand that feeling of entitlement that is given to males as to how they can treat the women. I can’t understand the mind set that allows women to simply accept it.
Of course this is a board statement. Not all men hit their wives. Not all women are subservient. Not all care about the gender of their babes. Yet, some do. Many do.
I feel like something must be done. I know there are things that are being done. Yet it is not enough. I feel so helpless. Helping one person at a time seems unreasonable…
Yet… there is my “aunt.” I have to start with her. I know I can’t force her. Yet, I must try. We must try. Complacency isn’t an option. Or I am just as bad as my “uncle.”