I Believe I Can Fly…

Are you content with your life?

I used to be very content with my life.  I loved having babies and doing all things that involved that stage of life.  Play dates, gymnasic lessons, music classes, going to the gym, being a huge part of my child(s) life.  I was content.

Lately I have wanted to spread my wings.  I want to fly!  I want to be the best me that isn’t mom and wife and sister and daughter and friend.  I feel my heart beating faster every time I think of it.  I feel that possiblity there.

What that is I am not sure.  Yet I feel it!  I want it!  Do you have any idea what I am talking about?  Many of you are in a satisfying career.  You already know what you want to be when you grow up.  Some of you are satisfied with never growing up.  I have a bit of that in me, too.

Tomorrow is the day that I wrote on the calender to start writing my book.  I have been working it a little bit here and there.  Yet now I am making it an active part of my day.  I started to do so a bit today and as I sat at my computer, I drew a blank.

WHAT AM I WRITNG ABOUT?  Where did all my thoughts go?

There is a bit of panic happening in my belly.  What if I fail?

I have my office.  It has finally been broken in a bit.  A first it was perfect, neat and clean.  Now finally, my white chair has a smudge of chocolate (I really hope it’s chocolate) from one of the boys hands.  There are books a little crooked.  There is bits of paper on my desk.  It’s all there … just waiting for me.

Insert a huge sigh here.

Could you pray for me?

Sometimes I write a post and then re-read it.  I am impressed.  I smile.  Then I pause and know that God is writing with me, as I couldn’t write like that.  So, as I go into this… writing with the plan of a book someday… could you say a prayer for me… that God writes with me, that someday… all this… my life that I am sharing… will be helpful and life changing to someone.

God… please help me.

I don’t want to just fly… I want to soar.

May Your will be done.

Amen.

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