Are you content with your life?
I used to be very content with my life. I loved having babies and doing all things that involved that stage of life. Play dates, gymnasic lessons, music classes, going to the gym, being a huge part of my child(s) life. I was content.
Lately I have wanted to spread my wings. I want to fly! I want to be the best me that isn’t mom and wife and sister and daughter and friend. I feel my heart beating faster every time I think of it. I feel that possiblity there.
What that is I am not sure. Yet I feel it! I want it! Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Many of you are in a satisfying career. You already know what you want to be when you grow up. Some of you are satisfied with never growing up. I have a bit of that in me, too.
Tomorrow is the day that I wrote on the calender to start writing my book. I have been working it a little bit here and there. Yet now I am making it an active part of my day. I started to do so a bit today and as I sat at my computer, I drew a blank.
WHAT AM I WRITNG ABOUT? Where did all my thoughts go?
There is a bit of panic happening in my belly. What if I fail?
I have my office. It has finally been broken in a bit. A first it was perfect, neat and clean. Now finally, my white chair has a smudge of chocolate (I really hope it’s chocolate) from one of the boys hands. There are books a little crooked. There is bits of paper on my desk. It’s all there … just waiting for me.
Insert a huge sigh here.
Could you pray for me?
Sometimes I write a post and then re-read it. I am impressed. I smile. Then I pause and know that God is writing with me, as I couldn’t write like that. So, as I go into this… writing with the plan of a book someday… could you say a prayer for me… that God writes with me, that someday… all this… my life that I am sharing… will be helpful and life changing to someone.
God… please help me.
I don’t want to just fly… I want to soar.
May Your will be done.