Karma…

Did you watch American Idol last night?

I have to admit I love that show.  I was wondering how it would be this season with the new judges… and must say, I loved it!  I thought that Steven Tyler (who I never have seen) was great!  Sanj described him perfectly… he said he was “irreverent.”  He wasn’t mean and hurtful as Simon was… and yet he was funny and honest!

Jo Lo… I liked her too.  She seemed real… if I can say that seeing as it is TV.  I loved her inablitlity to say no…

And Randy… I always have been a fan.

So… I am excited for this season.  I love love love the beginning ones with the auditions and the shamelessness of some of the people!  I was teary eyed as the last boy auditioned from New York.  Their story broke my heart.  Every one has a dream!

Then I skipped the next few or watch them at random till it gets to the top 10 and then I love to watch again.  Hey, it’s on again tonight… wonder if that means there is no Grey’s?  Boo!

OK… really deep stuff, I know! lol

Just saying, I’m a fan still!

🙂

I wrote today for  hours.  It’s coming out… the stuff that was locked away is coming out.  It feels good.  It feels like I am in a good place.  As I write and remember… I can see such growth in me.  That feels so good.  I guess time can heal wounds.

I am getting old.  I just showered and was blow drying my hair since it is -15 or something Celsius.  As I was doing my hair… I noticed so much more grey hair!!!  Oh my goodness!  I wondered if it just sprouted out while I was writing!  Maybe reliving the days gone by is bad for my hair!!!

Then as I sit to blog, I am realizing that the words on the screen are hard to read.  I click View and then Zoom In.  That’s a lot better!  Oh dear!

I am getting old!  This is middle age, assuming I live till I am 86 years old.  I have never been too bothered by my chronological age.  Life has been good and I just have appreciated that so much.

Happiness is not having everything I want… yet is having everything I need.

I Like That!  Did someone say this first?  Maybe I will be quoted someday!  🙂

Did you know that if you have the love of someone… you are so blessed?

It seems so simple.  Yet as I have been writing of my father… and the need for his love… I realized that despite all that my mom went through.. she is loved and therefore blessed.

My dad… I so wonder who would come to his funeral?  What would people say?

Maybe they would say that he had great kids.  Maybe that is his contribution to this world.  Us.

I say this without any arrogance… it’s just that my dad didn’t have relationships with people.  He never let anyone close.  His fellow tenants may say that he made their housing beautiful.  He does the gardens around the apartment complex where he lives.  He was in the paper for this.

My heart hurts for my dad and his loneliness.  I wish things could have been different for him.  Karma… “The total effect of a person’s actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person’s existence, regarded as determining the person’s destiny.” (www.freedictionary.com)

or

“…whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” Galatians 6:7

That’s from the Bible.  Ouch.  Makes me sit up a little straighter and think of what I am sowing right now… today.  I better make up with Sammy.  🙂

If you are not alone… you are blessed.

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