This blog post contains a Bad Word… You are warned.
I am such a B-t-ch.
Yes, I am. Cleaning my house does this to me. Laundry does this to me.
Over the years, I/we have learned this is what sends me over my edge. After baby 4, we put into place things to keep me sane… or in that vicinity. Thus our need and dependency for a cleaning lady. I have help. I don’t see this as a luxury but rather a necessity.
I don’t do well with the overwhelming task of bathrooms (this alone, sends me over the edge … can you imagine life in a house with 7 males???) floors, dusting … all that stuff that makes me turn into a B-t-ch.
This weekend while I was gone, Sanj let our cleaning lady go. There was cause… good cause and it needed to be dealt with immediately. So… wham.. no cleaner.
I planned a big dinner at our house Friday night. We always host Friday nights as the house is sure to be clean. It makes entertaining much easier and pleasant.
I am totally frazzled.
Sanj hates when I get this way. Yet, I can’t help it. It is as if this creature starts to invade bit by bit… and I feel nasty and yet can’t contain it. The ugliness over flows. Soon I am screeching at the boys. It sounds so ugly. I hate how I sound. Yet it is what comes out. I feel baffled that no body else sees the mess. No one can pick up their socks that they discarded while lounging on the sofa where they left their plate after they ate.
I take deep breathes. It doesn’t help. Just like they lied and told me Lamaze would help with the labour pains… LIES!
The hunt for help isn’t easy. I have someone likely for the beginning of May… but that is a LONG time away. The B-t-chness may totally tramatize the boys. Or maybe they will all finally understand this language of what makes Mommy happy.
Hum… what a concept.