Today my little ones had a ride in to school, allowing me the rare luxury of puttering around the house for a bit. As I nagged Josh, helping him pull on socks, figure out if his shoes are on the right foot, watch him swing his back pack on his shoulders, then shuffle over to me and give me his delicious hug and kiss and finally head out the door, he paused, “I love you, Mommy. What are you going to do today?”
My heart stopped for a moment, thinking of being 6 years old, wondering what his little mind was thinking as he made his way down the stairs? So much is expected of this little one. Letters, numbers, dressing himself, eating, peeing, pooping (in the toliet), remembering his manners… sigh… then it’s that time of the day when he waits outside till he sees my van… I wonder if he feels as overjoyed as I do when I see him in that first moment?
What do I do all day without him?
I went to lunch with a friend (amongst the orthodontist appointment, cleaning out the car, paying bills, dropping of dry cleaning… today was an easy day because Zach was on a field trip so my “homeschooling” was cancelled allowing me luxurious free time)… enjoyed that time catching up with my friend… and then because it was so beautiful outside I wandered around the few downtown stores…
I went into a children’s store that I once kept in business when my boys were wee ones, to look at the ladies stuff at the back of the store… and I felt my chest tighten as I passed the beautiful baby clothing.
I miss that. Those wee clothes, those wee thighs, those wee hands, those wee lips, that sweet baby’s breath… I miss all that so much.
I watched a mom sitting, her baby straddling her… I loved that position. Our chests touching… feeling each other’s heart beat.
My babes are all growing up and I miss all things babies.
(Well, not the endless poopy diapers… but oh their wee little bums)!
Since I do complain of the woes of parenting… I know… let me reassure you that I absolutely adore my boys. All of them! They are so beautiful! They can be so loving. They can fill my heart with such pride and joy. They fill me with such contentment to simply be in their company.
Ah… my sweet boys.
What do I do all day when they are not with me?