Have you noticed that some people, no matter how old they are, have the special gift of being mean? Do you ever wonder why it is?
Mean… with no filter at all. The things that come out are ugly and hurtful. Yet they are said. There is no remorse, just a steady stream of hurtful commentary never to be followed by an apology.
It sucks when this person is a self righteous Christian… you know the kind… that puts themselves above everyone else. They read their Bible, pray and go to church, faithfully. And yet, their actions do not speak of Christ or His love.
I happen to have a couple of these kinds of people in my life. So do my kids. They, the boys, have been on the recieving end of this behavior. And yet… when there is relations there, how do you escape it?
My biggest issue is the arrogance of being a Christian. It would seem that there is only one way to be a Christian. It is the right way.
As I was complaining to my brother about these people in my life… he read me a quote from a book he was immersed in… I love it. It summons up this person so clearly… and makes me realize that this is a kind of person… as their must be others there… for this author to sum up their character so well…
“Many are supposedly “spiritually mature” but remain infants, children, or teenagers emotionally. They demonstrate little ability to process anger, sadness, or hurt. They whine, complain, distance themselves, blame, and use sarcasm – like little children when they don’t get their way. Highly defensive to criticism or differences of opinion, they expect to be taken care of and often treat people as objects to meet their needs.
The answer is what this book is about. The roots of the problem lie in a faulty spirituality, stemming from a faulty biblical theology. Many Christians have received helpful training in certain essential areas of discipleship, such as prayer, Bible study, worship discovery of the their spiritual gifts, or learning how to explain the gospel to someone else.
The link between emotional health and spiritual maturity is a large, unexplored area of discipleship.
(The Emotional Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives. By Peter Scazzero. Page 18. )
The first paragraph describes this person/s so perfect. Wow. So now what? There are no answers as of yet. So… I must ???
I love that despite the fact that there are no answers of yet… there is a perfect description of this person… and it so clearly ties into their spirituality.
What is the answer? I don’t know. I do know that we, as a family, tend to withdraw from these people. We have a protective armor that goes up when in the company of these folks. And yet.. when they attack… it still knocks our breath away.
How will God judge these folks? Guess that is my humanness… I want a consequence… for them.
I guess the bottom line is that I want them to hurt… just the way they have and continue to hurt others… and yet… as I contemplate this, I can’t help but feel sorry for them. It must stink to be such a ugly hateful person all the time. It must stink that they ultimately are lonely people who are seeking attention and love, yet the consequence of being who they are causes people to withdraw and alienate themselves from the vileness of their being.
I often complain to Sanj, frustrated that this person/s will no doubt be in heaven as God that being God, will see past their ugliness. Yet… then the punishment is the loneliness they must live out here on earth… and ultimately that is a huge price to pay… isn’t it?
It must really hurt to not be loved as you need and want to. Yet it is simple, isn’t it? Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.