Lately, as my boys are growing up from gibber jabbering about everything, they have become tight lipped males that seem to grunt answers.
The grunting and one syllable answers are highly annoying. It makes me become an annoying female that continues to ask questions… and in return irritate them.
Two of them… my boys, have asked me, “Why do you ask so many questions?”
Um… HELLO… because I care!
Apparently, I was told that when I do this, “this” meaning converse with them… it makes them withdraw from me. Of course, me, being the ultimate conversationist in our family, finds this way of thinking ridiculous!
My brother, here visiting a few weeks ago, suggested I read Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus to better understand my men. As said before, Sanj is not the typical kind of guy that withholds emotionally. I am not used to this behavior.
So, I bought the book and began my study into the minds of how men operate. Interesting enough, men go into their caves when they are dealing with something… or processing something. Interesting. Hum… this is what the boys do… they are so quiet and I suppose in their cave dealing with their thoughts.
Oh, frustrating.
Where as we, women, talk and share. This is how we process and function. (Certainly a way better way, if you ask me!)
When men do talk, they are not looking for us to fix their problems. They want us to just listen… very hard… and believe in them.
Oh brothers!
Very hard to do… and I’ve been messing up. Really, I have great advice… really! Why would I keep all that in when I have the answer? lol
This is my destiny. God’s joke on me. I have 7 males… all who just want to retreat into their caves… grunt mono syllable answers and want and need me to be quiet.
Sigh.
Seriously, it is no wonder that I seek out my girlfriends. I need to converse. I am always amazed at how Sanj will come home and listen for lengthy periods of time about my day… the smallest things I can share… and he is content to just listen, laugh in approiate places (or I call him out) and let me chatter.
The book says that (I’m paraphrasing) while men are in their caves they can still “hear” us… at least 5% of what we are saying. Thus you will often hear, “I’m listening.”
After their time out in their man caves, they are fine to come out and be part of the world again. I have to say, I am so glad that I am born a female. I think that being a male would be so exhausting!
While regurgitating what I read… the man (no names mentioned) said,
“The book should be called Women are from Mars and men think with their p___is.”
lol
Out of the man’s mouth the truth is spoken!
I have a lot to learn.
Lord, help me raise good, honest, kind, emotionally healthy men!
Help me to be patient. Help me to keep my mouth shut when it needs to be.
This is going to be my challenge!
I love my men. Thank you for each of them.
Help me, though!
I am going to need it!
I love You, Jesus!
xoxo
***All materials mentioned taken from Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus.