Waiting on Perfect Timing!

I remember waiting and waiting till Sammy could fit into size 3 months clothing. He was such a tiny babe. I couldn’t wait for him to grow big enough for dress him up.

I couldn’t wait for us to have the perfect house. That looked like a house on property with a pool, lots of property and all the toys. The boys would never be bored.

I can’t wait till they are all out of car seats, or can do their own laundry. How great it will be for them to cook and clean after themselves.

We went and saw Indiana Jones today to Tyler’s birthday. There was a line that I wish I could remember but paraphrasing badly it said… there is never the such a thing as the perfect time.

Often we wait for the perfect time to have children, or go on vacation or can’t wait for that perfect moment. But will it be perfect?

When I am just doing laundry for 2 people or myself, will it be perfect? I am pretty sure it will suck. I am sure I will miss cooking for a busload of boys. I can’t imagine missing the ridiculous amount of laundry I do now… but I am sure I will. It means they will be gone.

I am trying to enjoy now. Not 2 years from now when going to Disney will be perfect timing because Josh will be 5 years old.
I would rather go to the beach tomorrow and enjoy what is now.

I have realized that I don’t want my life to be controlled by projects… such as right now it feels like life will be great after the move. I know it will but… I don’t want to miss this summer with the boys either. I don’t want to skip the 2 months of memories we can make only to be fixated on the future. The future isn’t promised to us, only today.

Sanj and I were talking about the endless nights where there is not enough room for us on our KING SIZE bed. Yet I know that is only a moment in the big picture. I know we need to be there for our children when they need us now. Soon they won’t be coming to us so willing.

I need to learn to focus and appreciate today. Did I do the best I could today? Was I a good mom today? Or at least an OK mom? What kind of wife was I?

I am only promised today. Today is the perfect time, isn’t it?

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