Rough Stuff…

I used to think that being in high school was so hard.  

I was wrong.

I think being a teen today is harder.  There is so much that young people have to deal with at such a young age.
We ( society) push our children to learn SO MUCH at such a young age.  There is so much that is expected of them.  They put so much pressure on themselves, alone, much less what society adds to that.

I’ve been watching a child slowly stop believing in himself.  It really sucks.  No one really believes when their parents tell them that “their special… their smart… their loved.”  This is something they have to find themselves… in this big world … for them to believe it.

I was reading this blog of this boy in Ottawa that committed suicide.  He was being bullied for being openly gay in his school, among other things.  It broke my heart.  I can’t imagine his parents pain.  I can’t imagine the frustration of his friends.  I wonder what it is like to be a Mean Kid in high school.  Do they ever feel sorry?

I used to sit in my classes in high school and wish very physical hurtful pains to people that were mean to me.  Mean to me because I sucked at gym.  I wanted them to truly feel pain.  Now years later, as I hear of some of the pains some suffer, it doesn’t really feel good… partly because they didn’t get it.  They hurt me.  They never said sorry.

Sounds childish.  I know.  I am just saying that I can’t image how much I would want to hurt someone if they hurt one of my babes.  I find it frustrating when parents don’t parent.  I hate that there are children needing help and yet their parents are clueless.  Truly clueless.  Work, school, projects occupy so much of their time that they are not present in their child’s life.  I see so many grandparents trying to parent… they did it once.  They are tired.  My mom lived with us for 5 years.  It was not a role that worked for her or us.  It is exhausting parenting… add the factor of older age… and really it’s not fair.   Is it?  One auntie who watching her grandkids said “I work harder and more now… babysitting my grandkids.”

Where am I going with this post?  All over.  I was talking about my child that is slowly losing all his confidence that he once saw in himself.  It really hurts me.  I have set up boundaries and demands that I expect of the boys… much more sterner… our after school routine… with the hopes that as I push… he/they will see the fruits of their labour on their own.

I am praying that God is in control my boys lives.  I know He is.  It’s that trust thing… you know?  I have to believe that God is seeing them through it all.  I have to trust that through the rough bits they will find their strength… and see God’s hand guiding them.

It’s so hard to watch.  It’s so hard to know the right thing to do.  It’s so hard to know the right thing to say.  It’s so hard to know when to release and pray they soar.

I am not sure what or how I thought I was capability of parenting one child much less six!!!

I can only fall on my knee, cry out to heaven and beg God to carry my babies forward into the world as they get ready…


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One Response to Rough Stuff…

  1. Emily says:

    He is carrying them……..they will be fine. They just need to do their own soul-searching and growing – something that we, as parents, cannot do for them.

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