30 Years!

I had a wonderful time in Florida.  

Every time I go back, I am always reminded how much I love it there.  I love palm trees. They are just so relaxing to look at.  They exude warmth and welcome.  I love the warmth and the blue waters.  Of course I do not like the intense heat that they have in the summers but … I love Florida.  Did you know that I lived in Florida for three years?  They were happy years for me.  My happiest memories as a child were there.  I had a best friend that I still have contact with and have the best memories with her and my cousins.

Then we moved.  I learned what loneliness and being on the outside meant.  Oh well… it made me so much more empathic to others. 🙂  At my writers workshop,  I had a great time.  I meant lots of fabulous ladies whose creativity astounded me.  Many of them were working on fiction… and their imagination was quite impressive.

If the time away, as well as the writer’s workshop wasn’t enough, my girlfriend drove the 2.5 hours from Orlando to spend time with me.  This was the icing on the cake.  Do you have a friend that you can just pick up as if yesterday didn’t go by? That you can talk non stop with … and sleeping seems to just get in the way?

My girlfriend and I were working on her passport application and I was filling out the information to be her guarantee.  “How long have you know this person?”  it asked. Well, high school started in 1982, which made the answer 30 years.  Then we both paused.  That’s not right.  SO out came the piece of paper and pen, then came the math… if it’s 2012-1982= it really does equal 30 years!  It was kind of a moment… you know the kind that is bittersweet?  How sweet is it that I have known someone thirty years?  That’s a long time.  Then again, 30 years?  It was a realization that we are middle age and old.  That didn’t really sit well.

Yet this is my friend that can get on the phone and instantly “feel” me.

It does bug me some times.  She’ll say “hi” and then “what’s wrong?”  I hate that when there is something wrong she can feel it or hear it.   We’ve been through the highs of first kisses, of puppy love, of heart break, of seeking the ‘happily ever after,’ of disappointments and the highs and lows that life likes to toss our way.  Our friendship has suffered it’s rough spots too.  Yet through it all, we have this incredible history.  Sure there are lots of people that I could say that I’ve known for thirty years but most don’t share and open up like we do.

What I miss is the really openness that most don’t know how to do or are scared to do.  You know, when nothing is off limits.  That’s real openness.  That’s when you can say “It’s real.”  I need that.  I need to be able to ask the ‘personal questions’ because that’s how I can know you.  The real you.  Too many of us hide that.

So while I hate the term “best friend” I realize that if you have one of those… a bestie in today’s cool lingo… you are extra blessed.  A bestie is someone that knows the inside of you as well as the outside.  Sanj is my best friend … in my everyday world.  I love that he is my friend as well as my husband.  I enjoy his company so much.  I love telling him my deep, dark secrets.  I am so glad that he is in my every day life.  Yet I am glad that I have a best of girl friend that I can tell anything to.

So, I was nourished… my soul.  I learned so much from my writer’s workshop.  Now I am eager to put it into actions.  A little scary.  My spirit was nourished by spending girl time.  I got very little sleep.  Yet sometimes sleep is overrated.  lol

I was sad to say adios to the beautiful palm trees that really do relax me in the deepest of places.  I came home to an immediate level of stress… and it seems like I was never gone.

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