It’s midweek… actually mid week will be tomorrow but it feels like it already. So much happening! Last week, I hired someone to come weed the gardens. I hate gardening. I know, so many of you find it calming etc, yet I have not found that feeling, yet. From a young age, my dad woke us up in the summers, to weed the huge garden he had so much pleasure nurturing. I hated doing this.
If I had nothing to do, no laundry, no groceries to shop for, no meals to make, no errands to run… you know, if I didn’t really have a life, I think I would find gardening somewhat ok. Sanj is usually the one that will eventually get to weeding the gardens. So, last week, when I had someone here weeding, I went out. I love being with people. So, I squatted down and begin pulling a few weeds while chatting with them. The thought crossed my mind, “This is kind of therapeutic…” Soon I came to a weed that was very stubborn. I think this weed felt as if it had been there forever, its roots grabbing on to the deeps of the earth, protesting, as I tried to pull it out. I heard a voice saying “be careful…” and I thought I was being carefully, I mean it’s only weeding. I kept yanking. Then all of a sudden I found like in a game of tug of war, the weed gave suddenly… and I went falling back. As the weed gave, I felt something deep inside me give too, as I felt myself fall back. The inside of my tummy felt bad. It actually hurt a lot. More than the hemorrhoid (well, maybe not) but definitely more than the healing of my wounds. I think that the insides where the doctor cut, had been healing fine, until I decided to something so stupid— weeding. I’m pretty sure that I tore whatever was trying to heal. And it hurt.
What hurt more was my pride as I called to tell Sanj that I was wounded. He was silent for a minute… and then with puzzlement said, “You never weed. Ever. Why would you weed now?” Sigh. I know. I know. And I really don’t know why I did that. I guess it seemed harmless. I guess I was thinking how pleased Sanj would be to see my efforts (the part of someone else helping could have been my little secret, if he was impressed).
It’s been almost a week since my weeding injury. As long as I really do take it easy… listen to my body’s chatter, I’m doing good.
Weeding and I have broken up. At least for now. Sigh.