39 and counting!

I am saying goodbye to the 30s soon. I am looking forward to this next decade with anticipation. The 30s for me was about discovery usually by trial and error. I often lost myself in the midst of motherhood and being wife. Time for myself was a rarity.

I found myself and defining where I belong in the extended family… whether it was with my family or Sanj’s. It was a time to discover new friendships, and see which older friendships stood the test of time. I learn to define what a friend is to me. I learned to release people that did not make me a better person or that took me down a path I did not want to go.

It was about making discoveries about myself such as who I really am and can be. It was about learning that I like people and working together toward a great cause.

It was about learning to become a leader (something I never have been before) rather than a follower. I learned to make things that were important happen rather than wondering if they would happen.

I learned it is OK to be really happy and really sad. It is OK to feel disappointment deep in the core of you. It is OK to be me. Me… whatever all that entails the good, bad and ugly.

I learned that “talents” are things like the ability to really love, to accept, to be positive. To be real, to be open and inviting. To be giving and hospitable and forgive.

I learned that I am weird, corky even maybe eccentric. But that is OK. I find normal kind of boring. But than maybe that is just an excuse to make myself feel better … that I am not the norm.

I think that my six sons were all part of an amazing plan. Part of being different… standing out in a crowd. They were given to me as a gift. A gift that I will spend the rest of my life unwrapping wonderful little surprises each of them will bring into my life.

My husband was my special blessing. Life would not be as wonderful, crazy and full if he was not my partner in this crazy journey we are on together.

The biggest discovery of my 30s is that I am loved. Not just a bit… but oozing over with all different kinds of love. I feel it when I am with my friends, my family and my sons, my husband and mostly by God.

After spending so much of my early years feeling unloved… my cup is overflowing with love. I feel it… as I breathe. It fills my soul. It grounds me and makes me want to pass it on. Love. There is nothing like it… feeling you are loved, knowing you are loved. It really is the one thing in life that is priceless.

You can’t make people love you. It is a gift. So as I greet the next 40 years with hope, dreams and excitement… I am grateful for the last 40 years. For all I have learned, grown from and become.

Thank you for all that love me. You have made my life rich in a way that no one else can. You are loved dearly.

Here I come 40!!!